Framework: Moving forward

My blog's title for 2012: Moving Forward

2012-01-16T12:46:00.004+11:00

Well, it looks like 2012 has started quite differently from what I expected. This change has been a lot more significant than what I thought it would be.

I suppose for the last five years, my passions were so clear and I always dreamt that these would be linked to my career. When you first enter uni, everything seems so feasible. Now, you realise that there are other things that are really important like job security, a good manager at work, relationships. And some of the things that seemed so ideal are suddenly not very ideal any more.

For the first time, I am allowing myself to sit and read a book the whole day just for leisure. I am allowing myself to watch Korean dramas one after another. I do not see my job as only temporary, it is now permanent. It is an interesting change of perspective. The things I express about myself to people are now different.

I have to admit that as much as I find this new 'life' quite liberating, I somehow often find myself having the desire to strive for something. But it is frustrating when you don't have anything to strive for. So I find myself thinking about what I could possibly strive for..

Starting a family?
More clothes and handbags?
Renovating my house?
Buying another car?
Starting a business?

Sadly, none of these things are able to satisfy this need that I have. They seem temporary, shallow, non rewarding. And as a result of this, I find myself saying rather strange non-sensical things to people when asked certain questions. I find that my brain is in a convulated state that it processes things wrongly and then spits them out in a rather distasteful manner. For example, someone asked me last night why I was going to Krabi for a holiday. In response, I said "to get away from family..." I wondered why on earth I would have said such a horrible thing and felt awful afterwards. Obviously I chose Krabi as a holiday destination because of its beautiful beaches, it would be a nice getaway for us as a couple and of course simply to do some exploring. I honestly find myself saying such strange and offensive things these days.

On a different note, I have also found that I feel completely deflated every single time I finish watching an episode of Korean drama. Every time I watch it, I am swept away into a different reality. I become so engrossed in it that it even affects my emotions. My tears stream down my cheeks which I can't seem to stop and my emotions are so caught up in all that is happening. But the minute it ends, I find myself in a totally different reality. I am back in the real world and there is no fairy tale to it. It is really quite depressing. Not the most accurate comparison to make but it's a bit like a hangover. You feel really good for a moment and after that you are left with a really bad headache and the problem is still there.

Yes I do have a lot of things going through my mind. But on top of all of what lies beneath, I am looking forward to the next three weeks of celebration, holidays and food! And even though the year has started out differently, I have decided that I am going to keep moving forward.

Happy New Year and Happy Chinese New Year!

Yarra Valley Escapades - The Sebel Heritage and De Bortoli

2011-12-31T15:45:00.000+11:00

Just before the Christmas and end of year holidays approached, the question I was asked most was, "So, any plans for the holidays? Going anywhere?" which I replied somberly, "Nope, nothing..no family here". So after many nopes and nothings, we decided that we should do something. go somewhere! We checked out some hotel prices through the Entertainment Book to scout for good discounts and settled on The Sebel Heritage at Chirnside Park, Yarra Valley. We booked a deluxe room and breakfast for 3 days 2 nights for what we thought was a pretty good deal.

The Sebel is only 35 minutes from our place in Wantirna so we were stoked that we didn't have to go the distance just for a relaxing getaway. The resort has an immaculate 2x18 hole golf course and claims to be the #1 golf resort in Australia. Apparently some big names have played here. Anyway, not much of a golf person but did enjoy the spectacular view of the golf course and hills from our bedroom. You can also check out my review of The Sebel at Trip Advisor (currently pending approval).

The highlight of our trip was lunch at De Bortoli which is a 20 minutes drive from the resort. Luckily we made a reservation because when we arrived, they had a notice to say they were fully booked! Since De Bortoli is part of the Entertainment Book and you get a discount of 25% (up to %40.00), we decided to go with the 5 course degustation lunch set which I proudly present to you here below in pictorial form. Get ready to feast your eyes on some very delicious, mouth watering, exquisite selection of food. Enjoy!

Starter; Home baked bread with cheese dip

Antipasto 1; Grilled red capsicum with fried shrimp. Absolutely loved the fried shrimp!

Antipasto 2; Green olives with parmesan short bread cookies and buffalo mozzarella cheese

A glass of Rosé to go with the meal

Entree; Smoked Kingfish with a fennel salad. This was definitely my favourite dish!

Main; Seared duck with barley and cream puree

Pre-dessert; Berry sorbet

Dessert; Pana Cotta with Rhubarb

Christmas Surprise Revealed

2011-12-25T15:10:00.000+11:00

See my previous post A Little Cupcake Surprise

Tada! Cute Christmas cupcakes from Cupcake Central (Red Velvet, Vanilla and Chocolate flavours)

A little cupcake surprise for my guests this Christmas!

2011-12-24T10:05:00.002+11:00

Pictures of what's inside to come after all is revealed :)

...and it's back!

2011-12-23T13:23:00.002+11:00

Ah, I have finally regained my motivation to write again. I felt quite down and out for awhile but I guess with my 27th birthday fast approaching, new house, a baby (no, not mine) a trip to the Sebel, Yarra Valley and a very romantic trip to Thailand coming up, my fingers were just itching to start typing again!

Even though I may have stopped writing, I didn't stop reading and have added quite a number of blogs to my list of "Food/Cooking Blogs I read" on the right hand side of this blog. The best thing is, I found some very nice, witty Melbourne based blogs so please have a browse through them and I am sure you will enjoy reading them as much as I have.

Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

My writing mojo is coming back, I can feel it

2011-12-17T17:28:00.001+11:00

My application for the Masters of Ed Psych

2011-12-01T22:20:00.000+11:00

It is now December and I haven't been invited for an interview for the Masters course I applied for. Even though I haven't officially received a deny/rejection letter, I guess this means I won't be studying next year.

When it first dawned upon me that I wasn't shortlisted, I felt quite disappointed and sad that I wasn't chosen. The University had confirmed that they had received all my documents so surely it wasn't due to missing documents. I suppose these things often leave you wondering, what went wrong...? What didn't I have? Was it my grades or a lack of work experience in the field?

Over the last couple of days, I have been on the other end, answering phone calls from applicants to courses at the University where I work at. I did this last year as well. Picking up phone calls, answering emails and meeting people who haven't been successful in getting a place in the course they applied for. I have never had a problem talking to them. However, this year, I have been avoiding these calls and emails because I feel so heartbroken for them just like how I am feeling now.

Anyway, apart from the sadness, there is also some relief in knowing that I won't be studying next year. Studying meant less income, finding part-time work, sacrificing holidays and putting off starting a family. Just this week, we received confirmation that all the documentation for the property we purchased have been approved. We are now owners of a beautiful single storey unit. We bought this unit without knowing whether I would be working or studying. I am glad that we can now confidently pay off our mortgage without any worries.

At this stage, I feel that I have lost my focus and not being accepted into the Masters puts a big question mark on my dreams and future plans. Nevertheless, I am sure something wonderful will pop up and I will be back on track in no time. Meanwhile, allow me to enjoy my daily date nights with eBay and Korean drama. They seem to have the power to take my mind off things. I love it!

Our new house which we will be calling home in February 2012

Humour in Marriage (Focus on the Family)

2011-11-13T15:35:00.000+11:00

Humor in Marriage

by Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." - E.E. Cummings

"Do you two need a tissue?" a voice gently whispered from behind us. We were sitting in a quiet theater watching a somber play when — at the saddest moment — something struck us as funny. Hysterically funny.

At just that moment, Les found a withered old banana in his coat pocket. Who knows how long it had lived there. He set this surprising discovery on my knee. Caught off guard by the incongruity of the banana and the play, I developed one of the worst cases of the giggles I've ever had. Les quickly caught the same disease. We tried desperately to stifle our laughter, but, as we bowed our heads to hide our faces, we couldn't keep our shoulders from shuddering. An older woman behind us, thinking we were moved by what was happening on stage, offered us a tissue for our tears, which made us want to laugh all the more. When Les accepted her kind offer, I really lost it and had to leave the theater.

Just another day in the marriage of Les and Leslie? Not quite, but we do laugh a lot together. The tiniest of things can sometimes set us off — a slight inflection or a knowing glance, for example. We can quote a funny line from a movie or sitcom for weeks. Better still are the unplanned faux pas in front of others that bring embarrassment. We have the same funny bone and can't keep from using it. No wonder we enjoy our marriage.

Laughter bonds people. Any good friend will tell you that laughter is the shortest distance between two people — especially in marriage. But one never knows what's funny to others. In a survey of over fourteen thousand Psychology Today readers who rated thirty jokes, the findings were unequivocal. "Every single joke," it was reported, "had a substantial number of fans who rated it 'very funny,' while another group dismissed it as 'not at all funny.'" Apparently, our funny bones are located in different places. Some laugh uproariously at some slapstick while others enjoy the more cerebral humor.

Wherever you are on this continuum of humor, one thing is certain: Laughter, on a daily basis, is like taking a vitamin for your marriage. And it is a healthy habit all loving couples enjoy.

Spending time with books, CDs and God

2011-11-01T16:45:00.001+11:00

I had a wonderful time with my parents here for the last two months. I felt sad when they left. People say it gets better over the years and I suppose it has but I always leave the airport with a heavy heart after saying goodbye. The next day, still feeling a little down, I decided to walk to my favourite bookshop.

This bookshop is just down the street from my office. It plays soothing Christian music, sells Bibles, books and gifts. Over the years, this bookshop has become my place of comfort. When I am feeling down or if I've had a stressful day at work, I would stroll down to this bookshop. The music, friendly faces and encouraging books always seem to help ease my burdens.

During this time, I was reminded of a dream I had. In this dream I was in this little bookshop but it was dim and all the wooden shelves were empty. It was similar to the image in You've Got Mail when Kathleen Kelly's Shop Around the Corner closes down just like in the image below. In my dream, right in the middle of the bookshop was a person and he was white and glowing and he spoke to me. He said, Joy, if you didn't have all these books and music, would you still come to me?

Image source: hookedonhouses.net

When I woke up, I wondered what this was about. I started to think about the lifestyle of Christians years ago including Jesus' disciples. I started to realise that they didn't have famous Christian bands, instrumental worship music, devotional books, Bible study guides, leadership books and lots more! I wondered how they 'grew' in their walk with God.

As I thought about it, it dawned upon me that I have been so dependent on these resources that I have been totally missing the key practice of spending time with God..just Him. No books, no CDs, nothing. Just me talking to God and hearing from Him directly, the source. We are so privileged to have all these wonderful resources in our day and age. But let's not forget to keep focused on the one thing we should be doing, going to God directly. We have to be careful that we do not deceive ourselves that we have fulfilled our primary goal by filling our shelves with books and have Christian music playing the whole day.

Telling God how you feel or praying, is fundamental to building a strong foundation in our life. When you anchor yourself in God, your life is anchored on something that is powerful, unchanging, and immovable. When we anchor ourselves in our jobs, family, friendships, finances, our emotions are constantly undecided and changing because we have anchored our source of joy and confidence in something that is changing. So remember to keep your anchor on God and fix your gaze on Him because when your foundation is strong through prayer and you are anchored in a powerful force, I believe that your life will never be the same again!

God's Rainbow

2011-11-01T15:58:00.001+11:00

Image source: coolthings.co.uk

A poster sits just above my desk in my study room. It's a beautiful picture of the ocean with a rainbow spread across the sky just above the waters. It's refreshing to turn my gaze from my books to this poster and ponder on the beautiful words printed on this breath taking backdrop. Allow me to share this poem with you which is entitled, God's Rainbow.

God's Rainbow
When you feel battered by life's storms,
And you are filled with doubt and dismay,
Just remember God's rainbow is coming,
It's only a prayer away.

Even though there are times when we may have a lot of questions and uncertainty. And even though there are times when our emotions overtake us and it feels as if we are out of control. When we remind ourselves to anchor ourselves in God because He is unchanging, we will know that our emotions, our joy, our security will not change with the waves of life's challenges. We can be confident that our heads and hearts are at peace and secure in knowing that our source of everything comes from above, the Rock; immovable, irreplaceable, He is eternal.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28.

Can't stand FB

2011-10-25T12:57:00.000+11:00

I can't stand my facebook account. There's so many people on it that I would like to remove from friends but don't have the guts to..so annoying...

I found Ellie!

2011-10-23T16:06:00.000+11:00

I used to love reading Ellie's blog, Almost Bourdain. She would talk about her family, share recipes and post the most amazing photos of her food. She would often do a shout out to her readers aka fans by featuring our posts on her recipes on her blog. I was so proud when two of my posts appeared in her shout out. Not too long ago, she decided to stop blogging. I was disappointed and couldn't find any other blogs that were as personal and inspiring as hers. I really missed reading about her life plus I wasn't motivated by other recipes from other generic recipe websites.

On Thursday, as I was reading Rasa Malaysia, I came across a very captivating photo of roasted potato slices. This led me to Gourmand Recipes which displayed a recipe for Roasted Potato Stacks. I thought to myself, "What a creative idea!" Then I looked to the right of the page and saw a photo...a photo I had seen before. It was a photo of Ellie covering one side of her face with her hand as if to conceal part of her identity!! I knew it! Out of excitement, I quickly sent an email to my husband at work, "I found Ellie! I knew she would continue writing..I knew it!"

Ah, even though Ellie doesn't share as much now on this new blog as compared to Almost Bourdain, she does write very well on Gourmand Recipes. And if you are not keen on testing out recipes, her photos will simply bedazzle you to want to check out her awesome recipes.

Gourmand Recipes was started by Bee (author of Rasa Malaysia) and Ellie. I really LOVE how food blogs can bring people together. Bee, a Malaysian living in the US and Ellie, a Malaysian living in Sydney. I just love reading the comments because no matter where you are living, on food blogs such as these, we Malaysians, feel as one. United. Special. Tied to our roots. Our identity.

"Negaraku....Rakyat hidup, bersatu dan maju"

My latest craze: Travel Blogs!

2011-10-18T18:11:00.001+11:00

Ken and I have booked our flights to KL for three weeks during the Chinese New Year period. We've been thinking of exploring Malaysia a little bit. A holiday within a holiday?

I've been asking colleagues and friends for recommendations, checking out tripadvisor and reading travel blogs. This is my latest craze, travel blogs! I don't usually read travel blogs because every time I read about other people travelling to all these beautiful places, I feel jealous. I would usually just prefer to read food blogs or special interest ones such as on disability or special education. But this time, it's different! This time, we have a a budget set aside for travel. So I have been very keenly looking around.

I've been looking at Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. The hotels that really stand out are the Magellan Sutera Harbour and Pacific Sutera Harbour. These stunning five star hotels are located by the sea. The pictures are breathtaking. They are also highly recommended by family/friends who have stayed there. They are a little over our budget so we might have to put them aside for now :(

The other option is Pangkor Laut. Apparently the Malaysian Residents Package is quite reasonable? We've contacted them to find out how much it will cost. When I say 'reasonable', it's because our friends convert the prices to AUD. If you are measuring it in RM, I think it will cost you quite a fair bit.

Our last option is Langkawi or Penang. We are looking at snorkelling or learning to dive at Pulau Payar. I'm sure this will be very exciting as well!

Alrighty, back to checking out travel blogs..

Lego Exhibition by Nathan Sawaya, Federation Square, Melbourne

2011-10-10T12:24:00.000+11:00

All these items below are made 100% out of Lego..believe it or not!

At Movida Aqui, Melbourne

2011-10-09T22:42:00.000+11:00

A lovely night out with awesome friends and fantastic Spanish tapas in Melbourne city!

At the Royal Melbourne Show, Flemington Racecourse

2011-10-09T20:40:00.001+11:00

There was a long queue to get into the showbag pavillion! Bought myself a Women's Weekly showbag for $13

Some of the showbags that were on sale

This was a little too graphic for me...there were live sheep close to this poster..

Like this one!

Needless to say, there were lots of animals there!

Afternoon tea with mum at Ms Marples, Mt Dandenong

2011-10-09T19:40:00.000+11:00

Lime spider

At the tea shop next to Ms Marples

In desperate need of some spa treatment

2011-10-07T19:57:00.000+11:00

I'm so tired of answering questions, giving my opinion, advice..argh I just wish I could go to a spa and relax in the warm waters..ahhh.....

Losing momentum

2011-09-23T22:04:00.006+10:00

Now that I've submitted my application for a Master of Ed Psych, I feel like my energy levels are dwindling. I know that I should be preparing answers to potential interview questions, reading up my proposed research project and reading up on Ed Psych. Instead, I feel exhausted..as if I've just finished a marathon and all you want to do is sit back and relax. I think I'm losing focus or getting distracted. I have too many things going on this month and next. Need to make some changes to refocus....

One blog leads to another

2011-09-22T22:03:00.000+10:00

Have you ever clicked on a link on Google only to find yourself reading something totally different from what you Googled in the first place?

Today I googled the name of a new property development. They didn't have a website so I clicked on an image instead. The image led me to a person's blog. This person had taken her engagement pictures at the clubhouse of this new development. Her pictures then led me to her sister's wedding pictures which led me to her husband's blog post on Melbourne. He visited Melbourne and I was curious to read what he did while here. One of his post was a review of a restaurant in Melbourne. This post then led me to someone else's blog and I ended up reading a post of her breaking up with her boyfriend! What in the world...how did I end up there??? Good grief...

It was a total waste of time although I must say, quite enjoyable..hehe.

Adjusting to work

2011-09-16T18:31:00.001+10:00

I don't know why i've been making so many mistakes at work lately. Probably too eager, thinking I have to take more initiative before consulting more experienced people.

My team hasn't had a team leader for a number of months now. We had a senior person to go to but she's got a million things on her plate. They decided to appoint a temp team leader for 4 months to lead our team and another team.

It's been great having a team leader around but not used to it. I need to tell myself to take things more slowly now. Wait for her to give direction, make decisions together. I think I need a notice on my pin board that says slow down, Joy!

posted from Bloggeroid

Feeling nostalgic

2011-09-12T13:54:00.001+10:00

Am I too young to be feeling nostalgic?

posted from Bloggeroid

Mum and Dad in Melbourne

2011-09-10T21:51:00.000+10:00

My parents arrived last weekend in Melbourne. It's so nice to have them stay with us for two months. Even though the house does feel a little cramped but it feels cosy :) Mum has been cooking dinners. Even though she seldom cooks back home, she does a fabulous job with it. She brought over a tonne of cooking stuff (i.e. curry paste, keropok, etc) and thankfully customs let her through!

Ha...wish I was not 'bound' by work and could travel to KL and back as often as I'd like to!

Staying at home can be depressing

2011-09-01T18:27:00.000+10:00

I just realised I'm not someone who can stay at home and not work. I've always dreamt of being a stay at home mum, a tai tai (housewife) to make my house look beautiful and do charity work. In the last three weeks, I've consistently taken a day off (including today) and I've realised that after the house chores are done and you've watched your favourite tv series, it's actually quite.......depressing! Maybe it's just me but my mind keeps travelling back home. It's awful..I keep thinking about home, Kota Kemuning, Malaysia, mum and dad, my childhood! It's so strange and I keep wondering to myself what time is Ken coming back and once I've done that, because I'm so bored, I start whats apping my friends while they're at work..LOL.

Anyway, looks like my dream of being a tai tai is over!

Did we escape the winter bug?

2011-08-31T17:20:00.001+10:00

Just 2 days ago, Ken and I were rejoicing over how we didn't fall sick at all this winter. We've been very conscientious in taking our vitamins and minerals. However, today, on the last day of winter, we both woke up with symptoms of the cold. Arghh! Now I'm wondering if we caught the winter bug or spring's hayfever? I should really read up on the differences in symptoms. Anyway some hot and herbally soup is what we need now...

You can't have two mother hens in the same place

2011-08-26T17:17:00.001+10:00

I've just realised some women can be very territorial. I often thought men carried this trait especially at home (one head of the home, not two? father vs son in law). Anyway, I've started to realise that women can be very territorial as well. I call these women mother hens.

Where I work, we have different sections/mini departments and there's always one woman who takes control of everything..not just in terms of work and how it should be done but the physical aspects as well. I have been blind all this while but now I've started noticing it more and more.

Take two women as an example,

One of them is such a mother hen, she even keeps her section's trolleys next to her desk rather than in the shared space. If anyone wants to borrow them, they have to ask her for it. She's not even a manager!

Another mother hen, if she doesn't like something someone has posted on our wall (i.e. poster), she takes them down without telling them. It has nothing to do with her...it's outrageous!

These women think they're born leaders by 'taking initiative' but they are just outright controlling of everything and everyone's space. They are the mother hens of today. God help us all especially their partners.

Becoming a Warrior Princess

2011-08-25T17:49:00.001+10:00

Today is one of those weird days where you discover the other side, the ugly side of some of the people you know. Last night at a conference, I received the words 'quiet strength' in my heart. It was something I needed today.

In an attempt to distract my thoughts, I am immersing myself in a different reality. It is the world of Princess Katsune Zulu. In her book, Warrior Princess, I travel with Princess on her life's journey in Africa. I find this woman, although HIV positive, full of strength and in her heart, certain to change the world.

One day, I hope to also be on a journey to bring change, perhaps to a different group of people. And what I am doing now are all part of the learning curve.

Almost there

2011-08-21T12:18:00.001+10:00

I've finally submitted my application to do the Masters of Educational Psych at Melbourne uni. I've also contacted three referees and two have gotten back to me. Now one left..the most important one..my honours supervisor. I sent her an email Friday morning. By the end of the day, she still had not gotten back to me. Perhaps she was just busy, or not at work, or...in meetings. Well, just have to wait I suppose.

What are you doing? A short film on Autism

2011-08-18T21:30:00.000+10:00

This short film created by Autism Awareness will be premiering in Melbourne on 1 September. Its a film targeted at school-aged children to teach them about their peers with Autism.

Watch the trailer here:

http://www.whatareyoudoingfilm.com/

Finally, a day to myself!

2011-08-15T22:49:00.000+10:00

The last 2 weeks have been crazy. Work has been really hectic with lots of competing deadlines. I don't remember what we did during the week but I remember going out during weekday nights and our weekends have been packed. I always wonder why I plan my days in such a way but sometimes, I can't help it! There are others involved in setting these dates.. Anyway, after spending the whole day helping at Open Day yesterday, I finally got a day off today. Ah..a much deserved break. I just needed it otherwise I would definitely be snapping at everyone at work. Cranky.

Oh I should mention, I even went for Zumba today after so many weeks! Haven't had the energy or time to go for it lately. We have a new instructor and she's really energetic and quite funny too. I enjoy myself every single time :)

Well, guess it's back to work tomorrow...cranky-ness be gone!

Detours aren't that bad after all

2011-08-13T14:05:00.000+10:00

I love doing my SOAP Journal. Today's SOAP was on Acts 28:1-22 where Paul and his companions had to detour to Malta while on their way to Rome. At Malta, Paul heals the sick including the father of the Chief Official of the island. The people honour Paul and his companions in many ways including providing them with supplies for them to continue their journey by ship. Paul and his companions didn't sit waiting on the beach sulking and complaining. Instead, they looked outward and got to know the people on the island and became a powerful blessing to them.

I titled my SOAP today, "Detours aren't that bad after all".

I feel like I've been on a long detour and my detour is possibly coming to an end. There's been lots of complaining and questioning during this time but strangely enough, there is a sense of security as well. A job brings financial security, doing a Masters doesn't. I seem to want to cling on to this security even though I am not happy with my current job.

Today's SOAP has helped me re-focus on the goal. It's helped me accept that a detour isn't that bad as long as you don't get stuck there but move on towards the goal when the time comes.

I like how the passage in Acts talks about how Paul and his companions healed the sick. It simply shows that God is not just waiting for you when you cross the finish line, but He's there with you even when you're on a detour.

Up and down

2011-08-09T17:45:00.001+10:00

Some days you feel up, some days you feel down. But what happens when you are feeling down for days..

July..halfway through

2011-07-26T18:09:00.001+10:00

There's just something about July that makes people feel down, sad, tired. Perhaps it's because there's so few public holidays in the second half of the year. Or perhaps the momentum has picked up at work but you've used up your best energy at the start and now you're feeling a little low on fuel. Or perhaps its just winter and its cold and grey.

It's important to set goals for the second half and look forward to next year. I'm planning on starting a dream wall. Put up some pictures to represent goals visually. I know I need to be strong, brave and I can't do it alone.

Listening Skills

2011-07-20T22:35:00.000+10:00

I find that I can be a good listener with my friends and family. I know how important it is to develop and practice good listening skills. I'm sure many of us have heard people say that they don't want advice, they just want someone to listen to them. In relationship books, when a wife tells her husband her frustration with her day, she doesn't want him to be Mr. Fix It. Rather, she just wants a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Ears and shoulders don't speak obviously..

I've taken all of these on board and can listen quite well these days, I think. However, there is one person that I just can't seem to offer the best listening ear or shoulder to cry on. This person is someone that's closest to me and because I love him so much, I simply can't bear to see him sad. I become so emotionally involved in his frustrations at work that I wish I could email his manager and tell her how he's feeling! I feel like a parent who wants to protect her child. I am often overcome by the mother hen persona when he tells me how someone's hurt him. I get upset, I ask him questions, I give advice! And we all know, that's the worst thing anyone could do.

I've observed that many parents are poor listeners. I'm amazed at how my parents are fantastic listeners even with me. But I've seen many parents who just don't listen to their kids. They interrupt, they totally miss the point the child is trying to make, they give all sorts of unsolicited advice even to their adult children.

I suppose I can now understand why parents often react this way. Because they feel protective. They feel they know their kids so well and feel they need to say something when the child is heading in a different direction or can't find their feet. They want their child to become someone who is strong with high self-esteem and they don't want to see their child sad.

I know that I'm not a parent and it's kinduf strange that I'm comparing myself to a parent. Perhaps me maternal instincts are kicking in. I should learn to see myself more as a trusting friend, a partner.

Hillsong Conference and our Sydney Holiday

2011-07-16T17:23:00.001+10:00

I managed to skip one of the busiest times of the year at work and got my leave approved for a one week holiday in Sydney. The main purpose of the trip was actually to attend the annual Hillsong Conference. Since the conference only started on a Tuesday night, we spent the weekend and Monday touring Sydney and enjoying its beautiful sights.

Ken and I at Sydney Harbour. Lively jazz band playing just by the harbourside.

Sydney is beautiful and full of life and the conference was awesome! I learnt so much and felt more than inspired to make changes in my life.

Hillsong Conference 2011, Sydney Entertainment Centre

The challenge now is to take time to reflect on what I received from the conference, write down some key action points and plan for them.

Long queues to get into Mamak - they serve the best roti and ayam goreng. Better than the ones in Melbourne

Until then, I'm enjoying the very cold winter Melbourne with 3C mornings...brrrr!

Nasi Lemak with Honey-glazed Tumeric Chicken Wings

2011-06-25T11:46:00.001+10:00

Nasi Lemak with tumeric chicken wings

One of my favourite Malaysian local delights is Nasi Lemak. When I'm missing home, this is the dish that reminds me of my growing up years, my life in Malaysia. You might have heard people say how food like smells can bring back memories? Well, Nasi Lemak is one of those dishes that reminds me of all the good memories I've had.

Working full-time and coming home exhausted doesn't give me the option of cooking a traditional Nasi Lemak where I would soak the rice for a long time and slowly stew the beef rendang or pound chillies to make a curry.

I usually do a quick version (or cheat version if you'd like to call it) of Nasi Lemak where I would buy ready-made sambal and I would make quick and easy tumeric chicken wings.

If you are in Melbourne, I would recommend using Sue's Sambal Ikan Bilis which can be found in most Asian grocery stores. Sue's sambal comes in a plastic container and is usually placed in the refrigerators of the stores. The Asian grocery store I go to also sells Sue's Nasi Lemak on weekend mornings. It's so popular that it usually runs out before lunch time. I suppose Malaysians are so used to having Nasi Lemak in the mornings even though they are now living in Melbourne!

Here's the recipe to make tumeric chicken wings. Enjoy!

Honey-glazed Tumeric Chicken Wings
(Adapted from May's Favourites, Nyonya and Chinese Cuisine)

Ingredients
1 kg large chicken wings (6-7 wings)
1 tablespoon tumeric powder
1 tablespoon coriander powder
1 tablespoon sea salt
1 tablespoon lime or lemon juice

Method
1. Clean the chicken and cut through the joints to separate the upper and middle wings.
2. Marinate the chicken with all the ingredients in a large bowl. Allow to sit for at least 15-30 minutes (preferably 2 hours).
3. Pre-heat the oven (fan forced) to 180C.
4. Place the chicken wings on a baking tray and cook for approximately 10 minutes.
5. Mix 2 tablespoons of honey with a teaspoon of hot water to dilute it. This will make it easier to spread the honey over the chicken wings.
6. Open the oven and glaze each chicken wing with honey.
7. Bake for a further 3-5 minutes or until cooked through.

What hurts most

2011-06-24T13:03:00.000+10:00

I've realised that what hurts most is not when someone tells you that you haven't done a good job. It's when your good intentions are overlooked and all you get is criticism. I reckon this is one of the worst feeling in the world. You feel so heartbroken and those words just seem to linger on in your mind for a long time.

We can't stop people from doing this to us but we can stop doing it to others.

A Burning Passion

2011-06-15T23:14:00.000+10:00

It is now June and I am on track for submitting my application in October to do a Masters in Educational Psychology next year. I have been waiting for a long time to do this. I am anxious. I am uncertain if I will be able to excel academically. I am unsure if I will get a good academic referee. I am not sure what to list as my research topic on my application.

Am I ready?

I was browsing through Parenthots today, the parenting section of Malaysia's local newspaper, The Star. The words 'A Father's Dedication to His Disabled Child' quickly caught my attention and I clicked on it to open up the article. The article told the story of a father who operates a noodle stall and lives in a shoplot above the coffee shop he operates from. His hardship does not end there. He has a 10 year old daughter who suffers from spastic diplegia, a form of cerebral palsy which creates stiffness in a person's arms and legs as well as ADD Attention Deficit Disorder. The father also has a son who is 8 years old with normal functioning. He is also a single dad.

Right in the middle of the article, a picture was displayed of the father helping his disabled daughter onto his motorcycle which he uses to ferry her to an organisation that helps her develop skills. The organisation involved is the Special Children Society of Ampang (SCSOA). A lifeline of hope for parents like this father.

I read the article with such intensity and could feel something in my heart break. At the same time, something else in me leaped reminding me of exactly why I am pursuing this Masters. I believe that getting my Masters is just the warming up stage of a race. I don't know when the race will begin but I really hope that I will be able to participate with enthusiasm and a burning passion to bring change and hope to those who are searching for it. I hope that a combination of heart, passion and expertise will lead to something great, something that will carry on.

It will be global.
It will be about sharing knowledge.
It will be about crossing cultures and traditional boundaries.
It will be a mix of old and new.
It will be creative and proven.
It will be unique.
And at this place, every person will be more than special. They will be...Extraordinary!

Rekindling the romance after 2.5 years of being married

2011-06-13T22:57:00.000+10:00

Ken and I started attending the (Alpha) Marriage Course three weeks ago. I think this course is very timely in our marriage. We've been married for two and a half years now. It has been wonderful but we've also noticed that there are a lot of differences between us. There have also been a lot of expectations we set on each other that have not been communicated clearly.

Having to deal with lots of household responsibilities and work over the last few years have definitely changed our relationship as compared to our dating days in Uni. Then, it was all fun, exciting, romantic. We spent our parents money and saw each other when and as we wanted to. Goodbyes were never fun but staying apart kept us wanting to see each other more.

After being married for a couple of months and the honeymoon period came to an end, reality set in. We were now spending our own money (which we didn't have much of), we were constantly tired from work, there was plenty of house chores and we saw each other even when we didn't feel like it. We no longer had our own rooms and going out to buy each other special gifts secretly was unlikely since we shared the car and often went shopping together. There were no more surprises.

Deciding to do the marriage course at this time has been really good. We are learning to resolve conflicts effectively, we are learning to express our emotions, negotiate, communicate and the best part, rekindle the romance. There's been so much talking taking place because there are exercises and homework that you have to do and even though it's tiring doing all that talking and listening, it has benefited us greatly. We are finally taking action to keep things fresh in our marriage and ensure that there is open and honest communication.

I would highly recommend this course to anyone who is married. You don't have to do it just once but do it every couple of years especially when you think your family situation has changed. A marriage needs a lot of work but when both are willing to put in the effort, the companionship and love you experience in a marriage cannot be compared to anything else. It's simply an amazing feeling :)

A tuna sandwich for lunch can be so unsatisfying...

2011-06-06T12:40:00.002+10:00

Learning to 'give back' to society

2011-05-28T15:50:00.000+10:00

I started volunteering today at a neighbourhood house for adults with a disability. Today was my first day volunteering and it was also extra special because we hosted a Biggest Morning Tea to raise funds for the Cancer Council of Victoria. I was a kitchen helper today but got to meet lots of volunteers and some of the 'students' and families who attend training courses offered by the neighbourhood house.

The neighbourhood house usually has cooking and craft classes on Saturdays for these adults but today they wanted to show them that despite their disability, that they could also give back to society by participating in this morning tea.

I don't think I have ever experienced anything like what I experienced today. Being part of community, meeting such generous volunteers who have such big hearts full of kindness towards one another. Oh, what an amazing thing it is to be able to give back to society. To spend your time getting to know someone else be it a volunteer, a person with a disability or their carers. I'm so excited about next week when I can start cooking and making craft with them!

My dilemma about Life Group

2011-05-27T11:17:00.003+10:00

I've been thinking so much lately about Life Groups in general as well as the LG I attend.

Looking back over the years, I have not been able to find a LG where I feel 100% comfortable in or committed to. I feel that many LG leaders have not caught the vision and purpose of an LG. It's a place where people can come and rest, feel refreshed, encouraged and grow in their walk with God, people with a common interest as well. It is not a place where there are cliques, where people challenge your faith (in a negative way), where you feel afraid to voice your thoughts.

The LG leader

I find that LG plays an important role in the church. However, a successful LG is dependent on the leader. One who is charismatic, who is pastoral, mature in his/her faith, a good listener/facilitator, a good role model - perfect. Unfortunately there isn't a perfect leader or a perfect pastor. But at least if there is one that aspires to be that would be much admired.

The future of Life Groups

Perhaps LG's need to change their focus. Perhaps LGs should be more like a support group. Bible study is not the main part of the agenda but rather a short devotional, more prayer and lots of fellowship and games to build relationships.

Personalities in LG

I've been analyzing the types of personalities in my LG. There are the thinkers and feel-ers. The thinkers can be divided into two groups; those that think out loud and silent thinkers. Thinkers who think out loud often clash with feel-ers simply because for thinkers to get to their destination, they have to think about it, analyse it and justify it. Where else a feel-er needs to experience it, no justification required.

Think out loud thinkers

Even though doing all that thinking and rationalising can be good at some stage, doing so much of it may cause these thinkers to feel very strongly about the 'end' answer or idea, not leaving room for others to express their ideas. The most dangerous are thinkers who think out loud but who only want to hear themselves think and not what others are thinking. They ask questions but they're not interested in your answer. In fact, if you answer a question, be prepared to justify it. And even after you've justified it, they may not agree with you. Some may view this as a challenging and exciting discussion but others may feel that someone's rocking the boat and it is not welcomed.

Silent thinkers

Silent thinkers are those that internalise their thoughts. They may take in what other people have said in a discussion, mull over it and analyse it. No one knows how they arrive at an answer but they have 'slept on it' quite a bit to reach a conclusion. These people can surprise others some times because they may be quiet at a discussion (as they are taking it all in) and then one day present something that blows everyone away.

I suppose if these thinkers are positive, open but wise at the same time, they could be champions. They make good listeners and may come across as wise. However, if these thinkers are closed minded and negative, who knows what they are thinking about? Who knows what sort of conclusions they would have drawn?

Feel-ers

Let's move on to the feel-ers. Feel-ers are those who like to talk about their positive experiences with God. They talk about how worship was fantastic, they could really 'feel' God's presence with them. When they share about their experiences, they talk about how they could feel God's arms wrap around them as they wept and poured their heart out in prayer. Feel-ers love the book of Psalm because Psalmists are able to put their feelings into words. It's exactly what they are trying to express themselves. I'm a feel-er myself. I know the Word, scripture, I believe it and I know that His word is true because I've experienced it. I've felt it.

Personality clashes

Now here's an example where personality clashes happen during a discussion in LG...

The facilitator poses a question to the group. The think out loud thinker adds a couple more questions to it and begins expressing his views, ideas, why it's this way and not that. The feel-er interprets this person's questions as 'it's time to express my feelings' and goes on to talk about her experiences over the weekend during a worship session. The feel-er is challenged with scripture and questioned with "How do you know's" and other questions causing the feel-er to feel attacked and doubtful. While all this is going on, the silent thinker is taking it all in, not really saying anything. The people in the group wonder where this discussion is heading..

There is one person in this group who has the authority to let things turn ugly or direct it into something meaningful for everyone...

The person is the facilitator or life group leader.

Conclusion

Having attended quite a number of Life Groups over the years, I have never really asked myself some serious questions about LG. Perhaps it's now time to put my thinking cap on and merge being a feel-er and a thinker.

Here are some questions to ask about a LG leader:
-Does the LG leader have the potential to 'lead' the group or are there more influential people in the group who may seem to steer the group away from meaningful discussions?
-Is the LG leader doing anything to improve the dynamics of the group?
-Is the LG leader equipping himself to be a better leader?
-What are the goals of the LG?
-Is the leader accountable to anyone? How is that relationship going?

And questions for myself:
-Do I feel comfortable in this LG? Are the people friendly? Do personalities gel?
-What can I take home from every LG?
-Is this a place where I can contribute my experiences and have it reciprocated, acknowledged not questioned?
-Why did I choose to be part of this group in the first place? Was it for convenience? friendship? or were you attracted to the leader's style and personality? After x no. of months, have your views changed? What are your views about this now?

Question for you as a reader:
What are your thoughts and experiences about LG?

Ahh...nothing like having a good Malaysian Nasi Lemak in the woods on a very cold winter's morning. Two seconds later.."Oh no, it's raining! Melbourne weather!!!"

2011-05-14T17:20:00.001+10:00

Breakfast at Grants' Picnic Ground, Mt Dandenong. Having breakfast in the car turned out quite fun and it was much warmer too!

MasterChef fever is back!

2011-05-14T17:08:00.000+10:00

MasterChef is back and I've been watching it a couple of times a week. We try not to have the TV turned on while having dinner to encourage meaningful conversations and to find out how everyone's day went. But there is only one time in a year where TV during dinner is permitted...when MasterChef is on!!

It's so funny how my husband's motivation for cooking is seasonal, somewhat like the weather. It happens once a year and lasts for a couple of weeks, months. It's called the MasterChef season.

Anyway, on to the exciting bit. He dished up this beautiful homemade gourmet pizza the other day. To make him proud (and to encourage him to cook more!) I'm posting up this picture of his creation. Enjoy! :)

Ken's homemade gourmet pizza topped with grilled steak, mushrooms, pancetta, asparagus, mozzarella cheese with rocket leaves drizzled with balsamic glaze and extra virgin olive oil. Simply delish!!

Refreshed and recharged

2011-04-30T10:09:00.000+10:00

So it's been three weeks of rest and this week it was back to work. The last couple of days at work has been fabulous. In fact, better than I thought it would be. I am blessed to have such nice, caring and thoughtful colleagues.

The heritage Bungalow at the newly refurbished Lone Pine Hotel, Penang

Before I left, I was so busy and was constantly wrapped up in my own thoughts and worries. I was holding a position at work that had a lot of responsibility and the weight of it was lying heavily on my shoulders. I also really missed home, mum and dad, Malaysia and only wished that my three week holiday wouldn't come to an end. Good byes at the airport are always difficult. Some say it gets easier over the years and yes there's no more sobbing outwardly but inside of us, a little piece of our hearts still breaks.

The view from Straits Quay, a new development in Tanjung Tokong, Penang.

Nevertheless, coming back to Melbourne has been a refreshing change and I never regret moving to Melbourne. It is so nice to see the blue blue skies, to feel the fresh breeze on your face, to hear people say how are you and excuse me, to enjoy the fine foods Melbourne has to offer at such high standards not forgetting walking through beautiful arcades in the city with breathtaking architecture and style and to come back to friends and loved ones who only want what's best for you.

The infamous Casuarina trees by the beach front at Lone Pine Hotel. I have photo of myself at this same spot with the same trees taken twenty years ago.

Truly, I have the best of both worlds :)

Enjoying the comforts of home

2011-04-21T19:33:00.001+10:00

We've just spent two and a half weeks in Malaysia. With just another two more days to go before we head back to Melbourne, I'm starting to reflect on my trip and time spent with family and friends. I'm also starting to jot down some things I would like to do when I return to Melbourne. Holidays are always a great time to just take a break and reflect on how you've been using your time and the things you should be doing to make life a little bit more meaningful.

Well, I guess it's on to more shopping, eating and finally....packing.

Dinner at Gurney Drive, Penang

Deactivating my Facebook account

2011-04-03T21:39:00.001+10:00

I am seriously considering deleting my Facebook account. I have 600 over friends and 500 over photos. I reckon there are people with more friends and photos than me but my news feed is full of rubbish and things that are of no benefit to anyone.

I seriously do not recall how I have accepted so many friend requests but what I know is that I have tried deleting some friends off my list simply because I haven't spoken to them in years and years but there's just too many of them!

So I am seriously contemplating deactivating my FB account and start all over again but this time with maximum security meaning can't find me on FB when they do a search. I will also probably only use FB to join groups and have family members on my list so I can see pictures of any family events that have just taken place.

I know it's important to stay current and go with the social media flow but I think my FB page has gotten out of hand.

Now to think of a date to actually deactivate it..I'm wondering if there are any useful information that I need to retrieve from FB before deactivating it.

Stepping down and stepping up again

2011-03-30T21:42:00.001+11:00

I should really be packing my bags for my three week holiday but I have a strong urge to pen my thoughts down.

At the start of this week, my husband said that this week would go by really slowly because all we're looking forward to is getting on the plane this Saturday!

Funny enough, the week is not going slow at all..in fact it's going so quickly.

Anyway, apart from the holiday, there is one bigger thing that I'm looking forward to...me stepping down as a supervisor at my workplace..

As I look back at the last six months, I've experienced so many things I've never experienced before...

*A huge weight of responsibility
*Make big decisions and make them quick
*Make lots and lots of decisions
*Stress and frustration until I broke down and cried in my office!
*Confront staff when they make mistakes
*Lost my temper
*Apologise a million times to your staff for not managing your emotions and to clients for mistakes you made, your team made, a stranger made, the system made...you get the idea.
*Fall asleep after dinner..no energy to even take a shower.
*Feel out of control, too many conflicting priorities

Hm, looks like I've listed all the negative things...haha..

But with all that, I have learned to...
*Manage stress
*Weigh my options and make the right decisions
*Learn to provide feedback to staff in a respectful and effective way
*Learn to delegate task according to a person's strength
*Remember to build relationships and not lead out of position
*Remember that I make mistakes too and appreciate it when people are forgiving and gracious towards me. Likewise, I should be forgiving and gracious to my team members.

Wow...what an experience. I've learned so much and am so thankful for this opportunity.

Now that I'm stepping down from this role, I'm excited to see what's next on His plan for me to Step Up!
I suppose I should start equipping myself for my Masters application. Looks like it's time to step up again!

Getting ready for our 3 week holiday & a photo update

2011-03-27T18:53:00.001+11:00

Ken and I will be heading to Malaysia on Saturday for our much awaited three week holiday! Can't wait!

Anyway here's a photo update of what we've been up to for the last month. The pictures were taken using my mobile phone so not the best quality. Nevertheless, Enjoy!

Coping with the news of disability by Dr Amar Singh

2011-03-12T14:43:00.003+11:00

I recently read an article in One Voice, a column in Parenthots. The article was written by the head of paediatrics of a hospital in Malaysia on the training or lack of training that doctors may have when breaking the news of a child's disability to the parents. He also highlighted the needs of people with disabilities which are almost exactly the same as to what we've been talking about here in Australia. There is so much that can be done in this area in every country.

Coping with the news of disability

2 February 2011

ONE VOICE
By Dr AMAR SINGH

PARENTS face many challenges when their child is diagnosed with a disability. The primary struggle is to accept the diagnosis given by a medical practitioner. Often there is the classical grief response of shock, denial, anger and depression before healthy acceptance comes.

Parents experience a gamut of emotions ranging from guilt (of possibly being responsible for the disability) and fear (of what the future may hold) to depression (at having to cope with the burden). They also face stigma from family members and society, for having a child with a disability.

This traumatic experience can be mitigated by how a healthcare professional, especially the doctor, supports the parents at the time of diagnosis.

The “clinical” model in which doctors are trained often tends to dehumanise the relationship and there is a need to return to a more holistic approach.

The current training of medical students and young doctors in the care of parents and their children with disability is limited. There is little focus on disability in the syllabus and it does not cover disability in any depth. Traditionally, the focus has been more on physical disabilities (eg, cerebral palsy) than on intellectual or learning disability. This is despite the fact that learning disabilities account for the majority of childhood problems.

Most medical students or doctors are not trained adequately on how to give bad news. Doctors as a whole have a tendency to shy away from painful clinical situations, both acute (eg, impending death) and chronic (eg, inoperable condition or difficult to rehabilitate disability). Their focus is on curing diseases. When this cannot happen, they feel defeated and may distance themselves.

They also tend to look at these children based on their disability, that is, an “autistic child” rather than “a child with autism”. There is a need to help younger staff members learn how to engage parents sensitively by example (role modelling) rather than formal teaching.

Medical students are trained to be objective, that is, to be clinically detached from the patient. This is supposedly to assist them in making good decisions on patient management. This outlook, however, hinders them from forming meaningful relationships with parents and their children with disability.

There is little, if any, training of a spiritual dimension for the medical practice. The lack of a meaningful spiritual dimension in undergraduate or postgraduate training means that doctors do not explore their own outlook on disability.

Doctors come from diverse backgrounds. Many false societal beliefs influence doctors, including their views on disability. Among the common misconceptions are: God’s will that the child is disabled; a “test” from God for the parents; punishment from God (for past sins of the parents); a result of “salah pantang” (broken a superstitious belief) and possibly the work of evil spirits or a curse.

The lack of a meaningful spiritual aspect to training, deprives the doctors of valuable skills and resources to understand more deeply how parents respond to the challenge of having a child with a disability, and offer support.

The health service is constantly changing, but not always for the better. We need to be reminded to always put the patient at the centre, and not the health care profession.

The development of services for children with disability and their family is largely in the hands of professionals or therapists working in government agencies and non- government organisations. This has often resulted in services that are developed to meet the needs of the professional, therapist or organisation rather than those of the child or family. Children with disability and their parents should be consulted and involved in the decision-making process of proposed and existing services which cater to their needs.

What are the needs of the disabled? What services do they need? The list below summarises the key needs of parents and their children with disability:

Infancy/at presentation: assessment, rehabilitation, family support groups;

Pre-school: focused early intervention programme, specialised therapy, kindergarten, respite care;

School: inclusive education, special schools, home schooling;

Special needs: recreation and leisure, sexuality and abuse prevention, emotional adjustment, adolescent awareness, aid or equipment;

Employment: vocational training, sheltered employment, open employment;

Long-term care, financial support, friendship and partners, dignity and rights, hope.

This is a long and extensive list of needs. Supporting such families is like running a marathon, not a 100-metre dash. Doctors must not feel exhausted or be afraid of meeting such needs. We need to do what we can and not feel as failures.

Parents are appreciative of our presence rather than our technical services. They desire continuity of care, that is, the attention and friendship of one doctor or nurse whom they can come to trust and with whom they can share their hopes and fears.

As doctors, our primary function is to be “in the service of” to those who are ill and in need of care. This requires us to build a therapeutic bond with them, that is, parents and children need us to become their friend. This does not diminish our care or make us less objective; rather, it enhances our care.

It is not about how much we as doctors do, but about how much we love.

We must develop a practice where parents and children see the same doctors most of the time. Doctors need to undergo internal change (spiritual deepening of personhood) which is more important than external change (technical advancement and skills).

Every parent must be treated as a unique individual and offered the time and space necessary to express and come to terms with their grief.

The doctor can play a key role in supporting them by offering an honest opinion tempered with compassion, by not merely describing the disability but also the strengths of the child, by not just outlining the challenges but also the hopes, by being an attentive listener and friend.

The list below outlines some of the key areas we need to work with, with parents and children:

Respect for the parent and child as a family;

Help parents make the transition from doctor/disability/centre focus to family focus and wholeness;

Recognise and support the prolonged and often cyclical grief process;

Not to ignore the religious beliefs of others and integration of true spirituality into our practice;

Help articulate pain, fears and wishes;

Empowering parents and the community and individuals to support each other’s needs.

Our ultimate aim must be for the family and the person with a disability to live a meaningful life rather than allow the disability to run their life.

We need to see children with disability and their family as partners and offer them care in a way which dignifies, best meets the needs of the person with disability, and takes into account his or her cultural and spiritual needs.

I firmly believe that the day we lose sight of the importance of every single child, is the day we lose our right to work with children. It is the child who is all important, not the system.

Datuk Dr Amar Singh is a senior consultant paediatrician (community) and head of the paediatric department at Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun, Ipoh. He has been working extensively with parents and children with disabilities.

One Voice is a monthly column which serves as a platform for professionals, parents and careproviders of children with learning difficulties. Feedback on the column can be sent to onevoice4ld@gmail.com.

For enquiries of services and support groups, call Malaysian Care ( 03 90582102) or Dignity & Services ( 03-77255569). E-mail:onevoice4ld@gmail.com.

Liberated

2011-03-12T12:04:00.001+11:00

Last night at Life Group, we were asked to describe our week in one word. I chose...

Liberty

or perhaps Liberated would have been more suitable

What people say is true..

Promotion at work = more responsibility = more stress

and

More $$ does not always equal to more happiness

At the end of March, my contract in this managerial position will end. I was offered to extend till mid June but decided not to because of the enormous pressure and responsibility. It wears heavily on your shoulders.

In April, I'm heading back to Malaysia for three long weeks and when I come back, I'll be returning to the comfort of my previous position working with students, less people management, less responsibilities but also less income..hehe.

I feel liberated!!

Celebrating two years of marriage

2011-03-07T18:45:00.002+11:00

Today my husband and I celebrate our 2 years of friendship, companionship and commitment towards each other. I remember our wedding 2 years ago, it's still so fresh in my mind, as if it was just yesterday.

I remember how calm I was on the Big Day. I remember how I couldn't walk properly in my gown because it was too long and I kept stepping on it! I remember our beautiful wedding cake and the lovely people who helped out and witnessed us exchange our vows.

It's been two years but it feels as if I've known my husband for years. Sometimes I wonder if I now know him completely..or if there's more to discover. I suppose different situations can cause us to reveal different parts of ourselves. And in the last few years, we've had it quite easy. We've had our challenges, our ups and downs but we have yet to have something really catastrophic happen to us like one of us losing our jobs, death of a loved one, etc. Nevertheless, I feel secure that if something were to happen to us, there is a bigger person who is there to catch us. The person who brought us together will bring us through any and every difficult situation.

I've also learned to be a supporter and not a problem solver. I find that so often I view my husband's problems as my problems. And to a certain extent, it's true.

But there are times when my husband has challenges at work, when he is feeling discouraged as a leader, when he struggles with finding his own path.

I have realised that my husband has his own struggles that he needs to work out. And as a wife, I am there beside him fighting these struggles with him but not as a commander wanting to solve the problem or strategise, but as a helper, an encourager, a fan girl.

I am there to bring him a towel to wipe away his sweat, his tears.
I am there to give him a warm hug when he feels he's the only one with such a problem.
I am there to say you're doing a great job when he's struggling at work.

I shouldn't be criticising his manager or telling him to change jobs when he is feeling down at work.
I shouldn't be telling him how to be a leader just because I have managerial experience.
I shouldn't be telling him to snap out of it when he doesn't have enough time to do the things he used to do as a uni student.

We need to empower our husbands, encourage them, emphatise with them, respect them and love them unconditionally.

Hoping these words of advice will be a source of encouragement to you :)

To many more wonderful years together!

Need ideas for Taste of Harmony

2011-03-06T18:52:00.003+11:00

I think I've been doing a really good job at keeping my compulsive cleaning behaviour at an all time low this week. I did the laundry only once this weekend while my husband did another load on his own. There were no panic attacks from the the sheer sight of dust..I kept calm and contented. The house is still neat and clean but I did not get overly stressed about it.

More interestingly, I turned out to have plenty of time to myself this week! I had four night events lined up during the weekday, one after another, but didn't end up going to any of them at all. Either someone was feeling unwell or I was feeling unwell or I was just being lazy. So I had all my weekday nights to me..all to me! Ah..serenity..

Anyway on to the topic of FOOD...

Taste of Harmony is an initiative supported by the Department of Immigration and Citizenship (Australian Government) to celebrate diversity in our workplace. Since we employed a full time marketing officer in our department, our marketing officer decided that we should participate. We've all been asked to bring a dish of our own culture to share as a pot luck. I know someone's bringing Welsh food.

I've been having a difficult time trying to figure out what to bring..I honestly don't really know how to cook a lot of local Malaysian cuisine. I just buy them off the street stalls!

Anyway, I thought I'd try ondeh ondeh. Those green sticky rice flour balls coated with dessicated coconut and palm sugar in the middle of it. I tried making some last night but did a terrible job. Perhaps with a little practice, I'll make them as good as Charmaine's as published in Cinta Dapur.

I'm still searching for ideas. Anyone?
I need something easy to bring on the train and easy to make in bulk...Oh and it can't be spicy. The last time I made cashew nut chicken, I included 3 dried red chillies. All the locals were going, too hot!!

Compulsive cleaning behaviour

2011-02-27T14:33:00.000+11:00

I woke up today to a beautiful Sunday morning. I was delighted it was Sunday. Finally, a day to myself! I've been flat out the whole week with work and events at night. I spent my Saturday at a conference, had church and had a family night. I've been telling myself all week that Sunday is going to be my day, Joy's day. I had a couple of exciting things lined up today and cleaning was definitely not on the list of things to do or rather hobbies to catch up on.

When I finally sat down at my study table to do what I wanted to do, I looked at the wall clock and realised it was already noon! Where did my morning go? And then I realised I had spent my morning doing exactly what I didn't want to do...cleaning! I finally had to admit it...I am a compulsive cleaner.

When I asked my husband if I was a compulsive cleaner..he sighed and agreed. I set really high standards and it's difficult for people in the house to keep up to. It's also very difficult for me to stop cleaning the minute I start. I suppose I need to set aside some cleaning time in a week and stick to that for my own good. I've had too many days where nothing worthwhile was achieved because I spent all my time on cleaning or tidying the house. It's very difficult to stop this compulsive behaviour but I know I need to start relaxing the nerves now because once I have kids, I think the cleaning will really really drive me nuts!

Chap Goh Meh in bed

2011-02-20T14:44:00.000+11:00

The last few days I've had the responsibility of playing nurse and looking after my poor hubby who is recovering from a knee surgery. The surgery took place on Tuesday, 15/2. My husband, a huge fan of sports and an avid soccer player tore his anterior cruciate ligament (acl) a year ago during a soccer match.

Anyway, I shall not delve into the details of his injury or the surgery because they're all just pretty depressing but the good part is, we're happy to be out of the hospital! The hospital is constantly buzzing with people, nurses and doctors on the run, pharmacist as well, physiotherapists, visitors, people wheeling patients into the operating theatre and another bunch wheeling them out, patients mostly still heavily sedated unconscious of what just took place. There's lots of waiting, hoping for the best, and you can easily can get lost in hospitals. Working in a hospital is not my cup of tea for sure. Anyhow, we thank God for these people willing to dedicate their lives to saving others. God bless them.

So since Ken's bedridden, well sort of since crutches have now come into play, our bedroom has turned into our lounge/dining area. And so when the last day of Chinese New Year arrived, our family gathered around a tiny table placed next to Ken's bed for us to toss Yee Sang followed by a simple home cooked Chinese meal.

And so the Chinese New Year celebrations have come to an end..

And there remains 5 pieces of pineapple tarts...

I no longer have to sit at the kids table...woohoo!

2011-02-09T22:25:00.001+11:00

It's 9.55 p.m. and I just got home a couple of minutes ago, prepared tomorrow's lunch, did the dishes, am still in my jeans and finally able to have some 'me' time.

Finally, here I am..in front of my laptop. Nice :)

At times like these when your day is spent at work and the clock seems to tick double its speed at night, you can only remember the good old days when you were in school, at uni, in between jobs whilst living under your parents roof.

Those were the days when...

A 45 minute bus ride meant Road Trip! Yeah! and not, I'll never get anywhere on time on a bus!

I would watch at least one or two episodes of a tv series every day and not once a week or less.

Going on a date meant spending the day together and not just date 'nights'.

Shared calendars were never in my vocabulary and not 'Have you added that event to the calendar? and don't forget to set a reminder!'

Subscribing to online newsletters meant 'Yay, more things to read!" and not Junk mail..again?!

I suppose this list could go on and on but eventhough I wish I had more time on my hands, I am thankful that I've passed the stage of life where you're constantly searching for so many things...your identity, your purpose, your interests, your life partner.

I am so happy to be in this current life stage where people treat and respect you as an adult, people want to listen to you and seek your advice. And the best of all, you no longer have to sit at the 'kids table'. You can now sit with the adults..woohoo!

Poh's Serunding Daging and Tumeric Rice

2011-02-06T22:51:00.000+11:00

Last night my hubby was feeling adventurous so we thought we'd try our hand at making something really special. We flipped through our new and much loved cookbook, Poh's kitchen, written by masterchef finalist, Poh Ling Yeow or Poh for short.

While flipping through Poh's very entertaining and colourful cookbook, we came across a Malay delicacy recipe, Serunding Daging which I haven't had in years and which my hubby has not had before. I figured a Saturday night would be the perfect time to give this one a go! Serunding daging is usually served as an accompaniment to Tumeric Rice or Nasi Kunyit made using glutinious rice, pandan leaves, tumeric and coconut milk, so we decided to make some of it as well to make the whole experience as authentic as possible.

Elegant photography displayed in Poh's cookbook, Poh's Kitchen

The process to make Serunding Daging starts off with boiling 500g of blade or skirt beef in a pot of water until the beef is very tender. Once that is done, the beef is shredded into long and thin streaks using two forks. It's very similar to the Chinese delicacy, pork floss, which is a much sweeter version of serunding daging or beef floss.

The following photo shows my hubby pounding the ingredients together to make the rempah. The rempah consist of 1 cup of dry toasted dessicated coconut, dry toasted coriander (2 tbsp), cumin (1 tbsp) and fennel seeds (1 tbsp) that have been pounded into a powder. This was added to the following ingredients which had to be sliced to make it easier when pounding them; 5-6 long dried chillies, 1cm galangal, 10 eschalots, 3 cloves garlic, 3cm ginger and 3 stalks lemongrass. All these ingredients were pounded together using a mortar and pestil until a fine paste was formed.


Chef Ken pounding the ingredients together to make the rempah

Once this was done, we combined the rempah, shredded beef, 2 cups coconut milk, 2 tablespoons sugar and 1 teaspoon salt into a wok or frying pan. The mixture was gently stirred until the beef was toasted and became dark brown, dry and crispy.

After two and a half hours, the Serunding Daging was finally ready to be served! It was dished and served with some lemon/lime juice to give it that refreshing finish and garnished with some coriander.

Tumeric rice was the perfect complement to the Serunding Daging

Success!

I have to say that we were so happy with the results! Yes the eating was great but the best part of making Serunding Daging is the aroma that fills your kitchen while it's being toasted on the wok! It releases this amazing fragrance from the pounded spices, fresh dessicated coconut and coconut milk and all the other ingredients combined together. Ah it truly is an amazing dish to behold :)

Getting into the Chinese New Year spirit at the very last minute

2011-01-30T17:28:00.004+11:00

Reunion dinner is three days away and the first day of Chinese New Year is four days away. Still nothing has been planned. CNY this year just doesn't seem to be very festive. The first reason is obvious, we're not in Malaysia with family and the shopping malls in Melbourne don't actually do much to promote CNY.

I don't blame the Australian shopping malls for not doing much to promote CNY but you'd think that our Asian grocer would do something, right? No...our Asian grocer hasn't done anything at all to promote CNY! Last year, the Asian grocer we went to had heaps of CNY cookies on display, peanuts, etc. but this particular Asian grocer that we now go to hasn't done anything. The only CNY addition he's done is display a box of ling gao!

Sighs, anyway...I suppose this CNY will be really quiet. Perhaps I should start taking the initiative to start our own tradition...hm...or bake some CNY cookies..oOO that sounds like fun :P

Finding my career path

2011-01-26T14:46:00.000+11:00

There are so many needs around us and I wish I could do more. But everytime I think about volunteering for something, work tends to get in the way. I don't have enough hours to contribute to things I really want to be doing. But I have a plan to do what I really love doing. To be the arm of love that extends into communities. I know one day it will all happen.

I'm currently reading Zig Ziglar's See you at the top. It has very practical tips and Zig is so down to earth in the stories that he tells.

We're all on a journey and I've realised that no one is going to give you that perfect job; only you can create that perfect job for yourself because you know yourself best.

Relaxing on Australia Day

2011-01-26T14:43:00.003+11:00

It's Australia Day today so I'm enjoying a nice day of rest. Spent a couple of hours at the Caribbean Market and bought lots of things..caramel coated cashew and peanuts, cherries for $5 a kg, seedless grapes, plums straight from the farm, a mobile phone casing for my new smartphone (HTC Legend) and some detergent. We also took a ride on the chairlift which went across the lake. Such a nice day and great weather too..

Just thought I'd share some pictures of a tennis match we went to last week at the Australian Open. I never watch sports on tv but when it comes to the real thing, I actually really enjoy it because sporting events have such a fantastic atmosphere. I love being part of the crowd there.

Christmas break, my birthday and Happy 2011!

2011-01-07T22:57:00.000+11:00

What a great couple of weeks it has been. Just a few weeks ago, it was 'last year'. Now, we're in the new year! It's amazing what the New Year can do to you. It gives you a renewed sense of direction, it's a time where you tell you yourself it's going to be better this year, a new motivation, new goals, new mindset...

I'm so happy how 2010 ended on a positive note with a wonderful trip back to KL. It was short but...

*relaxing - we went to Port Dickson with my parents. Dropped by dad's old village in Seremban on the way back and had Seremban beef noodles.

*we spent quality time with family - we talked about our current situation, our dreams and goals. Somehow talking about these things over the phone or over Skype just isn't as meaningful as talking face to face. It's so nice to be able to have such open conversations and have parents who are supportive of your dreams.

*our flights were very comfortable - we took Air Asia and the seats can now recline! For a couple of years, they had horrible seats but they've sinced change them. We also bought very comfy neck rest pillows which helped us sleep on the plane.

*reunion with relatives and an early Chinese New Year - my aunt organised a get together with my relatives. On top of all the awesome food we had, she also specially ordered these delicious sweet, sour and chilli crabs and my favourite, Yee Sang!

*celebrated my birthday with family and friends - it's been a long time since I had a birthday party in my house so this was really special. It was nice catching up with close friends. Apparently there's a term for us Malaysian-Aussies now, Mossies! I also had my favourite pandan layer cake as my birthday cake and my parents bought this amazing bbq pork (char siew) which made my birthday even more special.

It was such a happy ending to a very challenging 2010 for me and I am really excited about 2011!

Wishing you a very Happy New Year!

Potato salad with crispy Chinese sausage

2010-12-22T21:59:00.000+11:00

I didn't have any bacon so I replaced it with Chinese sausage. I shallowed fried the Chinese sausages so it would be crispy and sprinkled it on the top of my potato salad. It was very flavoursome and provided a level of sweetness to the potato salad. Received some good comments about it :)

2010-12-15T09:00:00.005+11:00

A week and a half more and I'll be celebrating Christmas with mum and dad in beautiful Malaysia. Ah..can't wait for a nice break and can't wait to have some yummy yummy food. Not forgetting, shopping and catching up with friends!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Open Yale Courses

2010-12-12T16:38:00.001+11:00

I've always wanted to study in the US. Unfortunately, with the US being so far from home, my parents decided to send me to Australia as my brother had settled down here. I felt excited to study in Australia but always felt that I had missed out on something ~~better~~ I've always wanted to experience. The States seemed like THE place to study Psychology.

Anyhow, as I started thinking about going back to study, I thought I should start preparing myself academically and start refreshing my mind on Psychological theories and concepts. Quite amazingly, I stumbled upon Yale University's Open Yale Courses. Yale decided to record a selection of their lectures for public download and have referred to them as Open Yale Courses.

It's such an amazing opportunity for people to have a sneak peak of some of the lectures at Yale, a world famous Ivy League institution. They have some of the best scholars and professors and it's just fantastic that they've decided to share them with the rest of the world.

I'm currently listening to Introduction to Psychology by Professor Paul Bloom and am enjoying every bit of it.

Finally, a taste of the US education system :)

Reflections on 2010

2010-12-12T16:24:00.001+11:00

Having returned to Australia in 2009, I feel that my waiting and honeymoon period is coming to an end. I believe that 2011 will be a year where exciting things will start happening...

In March 2011, I would have fulfilled my goal of sticking to my first Aussie job for at least two years. I was unable to hold on to a job for more than a year in Malaysia and decided that no matter how tough it got, I would persevere and press on to meet my two year target.

In April 2011, I would be getting my Permanent Residency in Australia.

It has been my dream to get my registration as a Psychologist in Australia. I'm happy I took a break after my Honours year to focus on developing life skills, work skills, to enter the workforce, to learn things on a more practical level rather than academically. But now I am ready to hit the books again.

It is now time to start preparing for my application to do a Masters of Educational Psychology at the University of Melbourne. I feel that I am ready to become academically charged again. It's time to get my brain ticking, researching as I finally pursue what I've always wanted to do.

I have a plan and even better, I have a dream...

It's time to get started!

KFC Korean Fried Chicken

2010-12-01T21:53:00.001+11:00

I had a little bit of gochujang (Korean chilli paste) left and was looking for a recipe where I could use it. I came across a truly creative dish in Almost Bourdain. The dish is called KFC not Kentucky Fried Chicken but Korean Fried Chicken.

I've never thought to deep fry the chicken twice but the recipe tells you to. After having tried the recipe, I am now going to deep fry everything twice! The colour changes significantly and browns so beautifully the second time you fry it.

If you like something crisp, sweet, spicy yet meaty, I would highly recommend trying this recipe. I have to say that I tweaked the recipe a tiny bit. After having mixed the sauce with the other ingredients, I added a little bit more honey to it to make it sweeter. I also didn't have spring onions as suggested in the recipe so I sprinkled sesame seeds all over the chicken after I had deep fried the chicken and coated it with the gochujang sauce.

On a final note, my husband really liked this dish so I'm proud to say that I scored a couple of brownie points with this one!! :)

A little bit of craft, home decor and Christmas jinggle

2010-11-27T15:55:00.000+11:00

I haven’t been able to do much cooking this week as we didn’t have any time to buy groceries last weekend. I reckon my inspiration to cook often peaks when Master Chef is on. Here are some of the other interesting things that I’ve been filling my time with...

Handmade brooches

Handmade brooches are becoming really popular. Brooches used to be shiny, glittery ones that you’d pin on your blouse, dress or scarf. Since organic children’s clothes and fair trade coffee became more popular, handmade cloth brooches has started becoming a trend as well. I bought these gorgeous flower brooches at a children’s market held quarterly called Mathilda’s Market. I absolutely love dressing up my tops with these!

IKEA 2011

A copy of the IKEA 2011 magazine finally arrived in my mailbox this week! I absolutely LOVE going to IKEA. It’s such a family friendly place and you can find almost everything you need for your home under one roof. I’m a big fan of the kitchen and decor area where you can buy cheap and well designed items. Some of my favourite items include candle holders, kitchen utensils and the frying pans.

Not to forget, the Swedish meatballs and lingon berry jam are simply irrisistable!

Christmas cooking

The Coles’ Christmas magazine is finally out! Picked one up for myself and a copy for me mummy. It's such a colourful magazine with lots of family recipes that I would definitely like to try. This year I have the priviledge of celebrating Christmas with mum and dad in Malaysia so I'm not sure what food we'll be having but I'm sure there will be roast turkey and ham. But then again...since I'll only be back for a week, I suppose I wouldn't mind Char Kuey Teow and Fried Hokkien Noodles :P

Counting down the days till Christmas!

The migratory Malaysian

2010-11-22T22:26:00.000+11:00

The final semester of Uni has ended, exams are over and results are going to be released next week. When I returned to Melbourne last year, I reconnected with old friends, strengthened friendships and made new friends.

Over the course of two years, these new friends became good friends and good companions. There are many you can have a conversation with but there are few that you can really share your heart with.

One trait I must note of Malaysians is that they are constantly moving. This year they could be studying in Australia, next year they head back home and the following year they're in Singapore working. 10 years later, they are migrating to Melbourne with the whole family.

Because of this migratory trait, I have found it very difficult to form long lasting friendships with Malaysians. Come this December, a couple of my good friends will be returning home. At times like these I miss home dearly but I remind myself that I was once in this position. I will miss these friendships but I suppose a new cycle of friendship will take place..

I suppose I can identify with what my friends are currently going through as they pack their bags and clean their rooms. I remember my last day in Melbourne in 2006. All my bags were packed, the room was totally empty...just the way it was when I first moved in. I remember standing at the door taking a mental snapshot of every corner of my room, hoping memories would never be forgotton. I remember taking a picture of me with my trolley of suitcases in front of the entrance of the boarding gate at the airport. I didn't know if I would ever come back.

When I reached Malaysia, I was so happy to be with mum and dad again. Ah, the comfort of a home, car, security, I developed true Malaysian friendships and experienced its warm hospitality that I missed the last 3 years. But there was one thing I would do every night...I would walk out into my garden and stare at the moon and look at the aeroplane flicker its lights across the night sky. I would think of Melbourne and how the one who made me smile was there. How I wish I was on that plane heading back to Melbourne. For two years, I suffered the heart ache of 'missing someone'.

And now I'm back in Melbourne and in the stillness of the night, my heart reminds me of home always...Haa...the migratory Malaysian can never find its nest to settle in. Oh when will my heart ever find its rest..

The little JOYs in my life

2010-11-15T22:07:00.000+11:00

Here are some of the things I've been doing to keep life exciting and to keep me going day by day...

Zumba fitness classes with my girlfriends, every Monday night. When we found out our friend was going to be the instructor of a Zumba class, a bunch of us decided to show our support by joining the class. After a couple of weeks, we're all still there. It's really great to dance off your stress, have fun, let lose and exercise at the same time. I even bought the CD to get into it during the week.

Christmas card making. My scrapbooking and card making friends decided to get together to make some cards for Christmas. Everyone brought their stash of stamps, stickers, coloured paper, ribbons, glitter and we piled them all up in the middle of our dining table. There was so many cool stuff to work with we spent half our time just going ooooh and aaaahh at all the little gadgets before kicking start our card making session. I decided to make bookmarks instead of cards so that people can keep and use them.

Showing how much you love your spouse. One of the questions that came up in our couples devotion book this week was 'how are you going to show your spouse that you love him/her this week?'.

I decided to show Ken that I love him by giving him a hug and saying I love you every morning and night for the whole week. I also decided to show him that I love him by welcoming him home excitedly everytime he came home. These are two things I haven't been doing very much of lately. He really loved receiving my hugs and i love you's that even before I could give him a hug, he would be eagerly waiting for it or would prompt me for it!

As for Ken, he said he would buy me a gift because I really enjoy receiving gifts but don't get lots of it. It's difficult for Ken because he hates shopping and is not really a 'gift' person so he often shows me love in different ways. But I would still complain that I don't get enough gifts from him. He's been thinking about what to get me all week. Today, he had a quick lunch and took the effort to walk to a little gift shop close to his office and got me this very chic designer notebook. I was truly delighted!

Ah...sometimes it's really the little JOYs in life that make life more meaningful :)

Nurture: A magazine for parents

2010-11-13T16:12:00.000+11:00

I came across an interesing article entitled Closing the Gap where two mothers talk about their experiences raising a child with autism and aspergers and about finding a School for their kids. This article is in the November 2010 edition of Nurture. Nurture is a free magazine for parents and is part of the Leader Newspaper which is a local community newspaper.

To read the article online, please click here.

A memorable weekend in Brisbane

2010-11-13T15:13:00.003+11:00

I had such a fantastic time in Brisbane over the last couple of days! We were in Brisbane to celebrate Shin Yee and Rayson's wedding. It was truly a touching wedding ceremony and was very meaningful as I've seen Shin Yee blossom into this beautiful young lady who is now married to her prince charming :)

Bride and groom giving their speeches

A picture with the bride and groom and our friend, Jasmine

The beautiful wedding cake

While we were in Brisbane for the wedding, we decided to explore the city a little bit. I'm not going to elaborate much but one thing I really enjoyed is Southbank. It's such a great place to hang out on a Friday or Saturday night, great atmosphere, wide variety of cafes and restaurants and the best bit...the night market..loved the night market!

Dinner at Amici's. Family friendly Italian restaurant with really good Italian food and large servings

Dessert at the Crepe Cafe. Had dutch pancakes with hot chocolate sauce and waffles with bananas

Taking a walk by the Brisbane river with a backdrop of the city's nightlights

We also took the opportunity to spend a day at Wet 'n' Wild in Gold Coast. It's a great family fun place which also has some thrilling slides.

The very thrilling Aqua Loop

Some rides were just nice and fun not scary

The ticket booths at the entrance to Wet n Wild

This holiday couldn't have come at a more perfect time. It's so nice to get away from our routines and familiar surroundings. You come back feeling refreshed and ready to face the world again and it also makes you appreciate 'home' much more :) And how else to celebrate home?

We celebrated coming home with a visit to Laksa King. Ahh, how I love Melbourne..the Aussie state with the best Malaysian food!!

Curry laksa with deep fried fish fillets with okra, superb, highly recommended

Laksa King at their new location. Very chic and classy as compared to their previous coffee shop style set up.

Har Mee (Prawn noodles) was pretty authentic and came with large prawns

Ais Kacang, could have done better with more syrup on the top like at Petaling Street. Nevertheless, it was a sweet and refreshing finish to our whole trip.

Laksa King
320 Racecourse Rd,
Flemington VIC 3031
(03) 9372 6383

Couple's time

2010-11-02T23:10:00.001+11:00

Young adults often are busy bees. Sometimes we're referred to as Yuppies aka Young Professionals. As a young married couple, it's difficult to find time to spend together. Nevertheless, it's important to make time for each other.

These are two books that my hubby and I picked up from Koorong over the weekend. Our date nights are usually focused on entertainment, such as watching a DVD, going to the cinema, having lots of food, etc. We've decided to do something a little more proactive and thought of doing a couple's devotion together. We went to Koorong and we agreed on this book by Dr James Dobson and his wife, Shirley who are part of an organisation called, Focus on the Family. We've only done one devotion in the book so can't do a review of it just yet.

The second book we picked up is Rocking the Roles by Robert Lewis and William Hendricks. We like this book because it helps us understand our roles better. I don't mean that the book literally tells us what we should do as a husband or wife but very often, we have expectations on what our spouse should do. At times, this expectation stems from observing our parents' roles in their marriage and this carries over into our marriage. We hope this book will give us the opportunity to explore our own roles as we build our own household together with God in the center of it all.

Tobie Puttock's fried mushrooms with basil and anchovy mayonnaise

2010-11-02T22:48:00.003+11:00

My mini cookbook collection is complete! I don't normally buy the Herald Sun but with the recent Herald Sun mini cookbook collection promotion, I religiously bought the Herald Sun 10 days in a row. This qualified me to purchase a copy of the 'mini cookbook of the day'.

One of the cookbooks I collected was Tobie Puttock's Daily Italian. I decided to cook something special for my hubby tonight so I picked up Tobie's cookbook hoping to get some fascinating ideas.

I've always been a huge fan of fried mushrooms and have had them at TGIF, Tony Roma's and at a food court called Asia Cafe located in Subang Jaya, Malaysia. So when I spotted Tobie's fried mushrooms recipe, I knew I had to try it! This is a recipe from the first section of his cookbook tastefully entitled No plates, big tastes.

A big plus side to this recipe is that it is a very much loved dish to serve as an entree (who doesn't like fried mushrooms?!), it is very simple and it involves very few ingredients.

Even though it is a simple dish, I can testify that the crispy batter of the mushrooms dipped in a flavoursome basil and anchovy mayonnaise produces a whole heap of bang when the two are paired together. It's such an easy and great dish to make that I've decided to share it here with you.

Tobie Puttock's fried mushrooms with basil and anchovy mayonnaise
(Adapted from Toby Puttock's Daily Italian, 2006)

Ingredients

10 basil leaves
5 anchovy fillets
1/2 cup mayonnaise
500g large mushrooms
oil for frying
sea salt

Egg white batter
150g plain flour
a pinch of salt
2 egg whites

Method

1. Place flour and salt in a bowl. Add 1 cup of warm water and whisk together in a bowl. Pour through a strain into a clean bowl. Place a clean film (cling wrap) over it. Remove from fridge after an hour. Whisk egg whites in a separate bowl until soft peaks form. Fold the egg whites into the batter.

2. Grind the basil and anchovies in a mortar or pestil or quickly blend them in a food processor until they form a smooth paste. Add the paste to mayonnaise. Mix well and set aside.

3. Heat oil for deep frying in a saucepan. Test to see if the oil is hot enough by dropping in a pinch of flour. Tobie advises not to overheat the oil as the batter will burn before the mushrooms are cooked through.

4. Dip the mushrooms in batter and drop into hot oil. Fry in small batches. When the mushrooms are golden brown on all sides, remove from oil using thongs and drain on kitchen towels.

5. Sprinkle with salt and serve with basil and anchovy mayonnaise.

Melbourne's Child magazine

2010-10-27T12:08:00.001+11:00

I tagged along my sis in law to a baby store the other day. This was not any baby store, it was a mega baby store and I have to say, the price of the items were also pretty mega hefty.

Anyway, came across a magazine rack where they were distributing the magazine, Melbourne's Child for free. I've seen this magazine before but never really read it because it's more for parents and I'm not one yet.

However, when I looked closer at the October issue, I realised this month's edition (Melbourne) focused on special needs. They call it the D3 issue: Diversity, Difference and Diagnosis. On the front page, they provided a snapshot of what was inside:

ADHD, my daughter and me
Language and learning links
Big ideas of disability
Accepting autism
Two worlds at playgroup
Strength from sadness
D3 resource guide
Family calendar

I was so intrigued, I picked up a copy and brought it home with me. The articles are fabulous and are all stories from the heart. They also have a great resource guide which I will definitely add to my resource folder.

Unfortunately, they don't publish their magazine online but you can read other articles online and subscribe to an e-newsletter. If you are really keen on getting a hold of the mag, you can do a search for stores that distribute it or have it delivered to your house for a fee. If you're keen on special needs, the October 2010 Melbourne issue is definitely worth getting.

Loving the Aussie work culture at my workplace

2010-10-26T23:07:00.000+11:00

I've been so busy for the last week and a bit. There's this awful bug that's going around my office and many people have fallen sick. One of them is my team member. He was away the whole of last week. Came in yesterday, still sick, went to see the doctor and the doc told him to take this week off as well. I don't have a problem with people taking sick leave but there's just so much to do and now that I have to take on his responsibilities, I feel as if I'm going to drown...Nevertheless, we shall press on and do our very best.

Two months ago I was offered a promotion to be a manager for 3 months. It was really tough at the beginning and I felt like giving up. I didn't think that I was good enough. Perhaps I was holding on to a typical migrant mentality....not good enough, can't speak English as fluently, not vocal enough, la di da. When my supervisor informed me that she was very happy with my performance and wanted me to stay in this supervisor role till March next year, I quickly declined the offer wanting to return to my previous position, less responsibility, less pressure, less pay.

However, recently I've been reading a John Maxwell book that I've become rather motivated to keep this supervisor position. I've also realised after two months that I can actually carry out my role quite well. There's alot of responsibility but definitely a positive challenge. The opportunity arised in a supervision meeting today when my supervisor voiced her concerns about being unsure about who should replace me. The situation seemed bleeked and after a bit of discussion, I told my supervisor I would be happy to continue in my position. She was so happy she gave me a big Italian hug *hugs* :)

So here I am continuing in this position, supervising a team of two only after working here for 1.5 years. Who would have thought this would happen so quickly. I'm really happy that my supervisor acknowledges my hard work and skill. I don't have to work till late and even though I'm not an Aussie citizen, I'm rewarded for my efforts.

This is life in Australia :)

BLOOM e-magazine, parenting children with disabilities

2010-10-15T16:17:00.000+11:00

E-magazine, BLOOM: Parenting children with disabilities

I came across this e-magazine called BLOOM which is a magazine on parenting children with disabilities, an initiative by Holland Bloorview Rehabilitation Hospital in Canada. I initially came across BLOOM's blog written by Louise Kinross who is also the editor of BLOOM magazine which then led me to the magazine which is displayed at the end of the page.

This magazine can be viewed online as an e-magazine (has the awesome flip page function and glossy coloured pages like a print version) and has amazing content to encourage and inspire parents with children with disabilities. It's published twice a year and is free as an e-magazine!

Click here to access BLOOM magazine via Issuu
Click here to view BLOOM's blog

Mini cookbook collection by taste.com.au

2010-10-15T16:16:00.001+11:00

It's been raining all day in Melbourne, with a very cold Spring afternoon at 10 degrees celcius. As a result of the crazy weather recently, I've been sick for the past week and on sick leave for 2 days in a row. Not nice to be sick when your hubby's away at a work related conference, mum and dad are a zillion miles away sitting under a fan and sweating it out at 30 degrees celcius in KL and sister in law who lives 5 foot steps opposite me is at home but more ill than I am! So with no one around to pamper me, I made myself some wholesom peanut and carrot soup..mmMMmm...

Anyway, this is not the purpose of my post! This purpose of this post is to share with you a fantabulous discovery I made today.

Mini cookbook collection by taste.com.au

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/special-reports/minicookbooks

While browsing through heraldsun.com.au trying to figure out when the rain's going to stop, I discovered they'll be having an awesome promotion from 20-29 October 2010. They call it the Mini Cookbook collection. This collection consist of a series of miniature cookbooks, 10 to be exact, by some of the 'world's best chefs'. To name a few, Jamie Oliver, Kylie Kwong, Stephanie Alexander, Matt Moran. These are chefs who are popular amongst Australians and some have appeared on the much loved TV series, the Australian MasterChef.

One of the books that will be sold is Kylie Kwong's Simple Chinese Cooking. I absolutely love the recipes in this book. Borrowed it from the local library before because I couldn't afford to spend $50 on it. Yes, that's how much it cost at Myer. But now, you can get a miniature version of it for $2.95 with a purchase of a Herald Sun newspaper ($1.10). I'm definitely getting myself a couple of these cookbooks!

Secret #4: Living by the Word, not by feelings

2010-10-15T14:59:00.000+11:00

I've just written a summary of the second chapter of the book Twelve Secrets to Victorious Christian Living by Dr Alfred and Sandra Ee. I hope that you will be blessed and transformed by it just like how it has changed me. Please click on the link below to view it.
Secret #4: Living by the Word, not by feelings

Blogging about my passion, Disability and Special Needs Education

2010-10-14T16:15:00.009+11:00

I've just realised I haven't blogged much about my biggest passion, disability and special needs education. I've spoken about my dreams to pursue a Master of Educational Psychology in the near future but I have never really blogged much about my involvement and the research I've been doing.

As there is such a huge need to network, support others and to share information on disability and special needs, I think it's time I did more of this through my blog.

A great way to kick start this is with an introduction from a book I'm currently reading,
Autistic children: Teaching, community and research approaches by Barbara Furneaux and Brian Roberts (available as a free ebook, limited preview)

This book was first published in 1977 and so the terminology and approaches used may not be as sophisticated as present. Nevertheless, this does not discredit the book but allows us to appreciate these early researchers and how their contributions have formed the basis for the many interventions and community education we are priviledged to have today. In a similar way, what we have done or are doing today, will spur on the next generation to build research and further explore the area of disability and special needs.

Furneaux and Roberts kick start this book by detailing an observation of a child with Autism whose mother had brought him in to see an educational psychologist. The introduction continues with a background of issues such as training teachers, treatment and its prevalence. From the very beginning of the introduction, this book doesn't seem to present any hope for a child with Autism. It's very factual and talks more about children with severe Autism as if to present a worst case scenario. This is what it reads in its second last paragraph of the introduction,

"By now the teacher reading this introduction who has not previously dealth with, or perhaps not even seen, autistic children may feel that working with them would be the last thing she would like to take on. Certainly any teacher contemplating this work should visit a unit or school where autistic children are taught before embarking on it. Once she has observed autistic behaviour and taken into account the uncertainty of progress, the nature of the work compared with that in other teaching situations will at first appear onerous and even unrewarding."

However, after what may seem like a journey through the desert, it concludes its introduction with an oasis of hope for the parent/teacher.

"In the balance there is, however, at least in the minds of the writers of this book, one overall and perhaps supreme reward. This is witnessing the most severe behaviour and learning difficulties change from such an uncompromising initial state. At the start of teaching-treatment many of these children appear to be psychologically almost non-existent while physically they are indistinguishable from ordinary children. For the child to remain autistic is virtually for him to remain psychologically dead while physically his life exists as an irony. To help in the shaping process whereby the child finally begins to create his own self can bring rewards unknown to any other part of the teaching profession; the venture contains a magic of its own."

"You are the oasis of hope in your child's life"

We do not know what we ask for

2010-10-10T13:54:00.002+11:00

I've come to the conclusion that there are many times when we do not know what we ask for. Thankfully we have a wise God. In fact, wise is definitely an understatement. If God had answered all my prayers, I think there would have been some nasty consequences. However, God hears all prayers and in His infinite wisdom and sovereign power, He answers them according to His plan and purpose for our lives.

As Priscilla Shirer said in one of her sermons at the Hillsong Colour Conference, present your request to God and ask Him to do something about it or to do something better. You can download her sermon here.

How to make the perfect soft-boiled/half-boiled egg (Malaysian kopitiam style)

2010-10-10T12:41:00.011+11:00

I was so estatic when I recently discovered how to make a perfect half boiled egg! The term half boiled egg is more commonly used in Malaysia but I'm told the correct word should be soft boiled egg.

Growing up in Malaysia, I never developed a taste for white bread...
or wholemeal bread...
or any other bread you can buy from the supermarket...
or the kedai runci (local grocery store)
or from the roti man (bread man) who used to come by our housing area on his little kapcai (scooter) shouting roti! roti! (bread, bread) whilst beeping his horn.

Some of my Malaysian friends now living in Melbourne born in the 80's sometimes reminisce of the good old times when they used to buy all sorts of bread and cream buns from the roti man. Unfortunately, I missed out on this simply because I didn't like bread.

I understand bread is the most common, affordable and easily available breakfast around. However, because I refuse to have bread for breakfast, mum and dad would offer me the best Malaysian breakfast every day. I am so blessed to have grown up in Malaysia simply because good food is available the minute the sun rises. It's also cheap, usually close to home and most importantly, YUM!

When I came to Melbourne, I didn't have the luxury of cheap, convenient and casual breakfasts anymore. I sadly had to resort to something I never liked...yes...bread, bleah. Thankfully, the bread in Australia tastes a little better than the ones in Malaysia but it can also be expensive.

Anyway, one of things I used to love having for breakfast in Malaysia is half boiled eggs. It's normally made using a device that looks like this:

Image taken from www.chocolatesuze.com

Since half-boiled eggs is a quick and easy breakfast, I thought of recreating it. I didn't have one of these makers so I had to improvise. The goal was to create perfect half boiled eggs. I tried many methods but the eggs were always either over cooked or under cooked. Finally, one day, I did it! The eggs came out perfect. I was over the moon. Finally, an alternative to breakfast!!

~~I then Googled it and realised the method had already been discovered...why didn't I Google it at the beginning?!~~ (The website has been deactivated). But anyhow, here is my method of making the perfect hard/soft boiled eggs. Enjoy :)

How to make the perfect hard/soft boiled egg (Malaysian kopitiam style)

Instructions

1. Remove egg from fridge and allow to cool to room temperature
2. Meanwhile, boil water in a kettle
3. Place egg in a small pot
4. Once water is boiled, quickly pour water into the pot. Ensure there is enough water to cover the egg or until the egg is submerged in water
5. Close the lid over the pot
6. A ~~small egg (carton of 600 gms) would take 7 minutes to cook ,~~ a standard/large egg (carton of 700gms) would take 7 minutes to cook
7. Remove egg from pot and allow to cool for ~~1-2 minutes~~ 30 seconds in room temperature water
8. Crack the egg and use a teaspoon to scoop out the remaining egg from the shell into a bowl
9. Add 2-3 drops of soya sauce and a dash of white/black pepper

*Tip 1: For the perfect half-boiled egg, only cook one egg in a pot at a time as adding a second egg would reduce the temperature of the water.
*Tip 2: Do not reuse water in pot or add hot water to cook a second batch as it would also reduce the temperature of the water.

The Beatles

2010-10-03T17:59:00.003+11:00

I was recently offered a free double pass to attend a Beatles concert. It was a corporate offer to all staff at my company. The tickets are worth $140 each. I thought about it...FREE...hmm...maybe it would be nice to attend a Beatles concert. Perhaps this would be a good opportunity to understand my parents' era a little better. I thought about the sort of people who would probably go for the event...I thought about the venue...I thought, are the Beatles still alive?...again, I thought about it being FREE..I thought, why not? So I registered my free tickets and received a confirmation email. Yay, we're going to a FREE Beatles concert on Tuesday!!

I was at my brother's house on Saturday watching the AFL Grand Final. During half time, I told my brother I was going to a Beatle's concert. He said, "Uhm...Joy, I don't think they're alive..they can't be performing" I said, "I'll show you the website" When I found the website, I then realised I was going for a....Beatels concert not a Beatles concert!! What??!

Oh my goodness....what are the Beatels??

Anyway found out later the Beatels are an internationally award winning band that sing Beatles tunes!!

Good grief....I obviously don't know anything about the Beatles and their fan base. Better not go for the concert...

Managing a team

2010-10-03T17:51:00.001+11:00

It has been very challenging being in a managerial role for the last 3 weeks. Things that could go wrong this week went wrong. I came home exhausted every day and for two days in a row, I slept at 9.30 p.m.

I'm having difficulties with one team member in particular. He doesn't seem to plan things very well and his personality just doesn't fit this role. I would link this back to his selection process. I remember we were all shocked when we heard who was on the panel. Well, it was more like we were all shocked when we heard who wasn't but should have been on the panel.

I really don't know how to manage him. I'm just trying to take it easy by not giving a lot of work to do. I'm just letting him manage what he currently has until my manager returns at the end of November. I don't want to make things difficult between us because I will return to my position and become his peer again. I must admit, this is all a little awkward for the both of us.

Anyway, the strange this is, he's been trying to apply for other jobs. He's even told the team about it. But it's been a couple of months now and he hasn't been successful in landing another job. So it's another awkward scenario where we know he doesn't want to be here but he's here. He doesn't want to be here but he's here. And....he applies for jobs during working hours...urgh...

I guess that's enough of venting for today :)

Secret #2: Renewing of the Mind

2010-10-03T17:21:00.002+11:00

Secret #1: You are what you think you are

2010-09-22T22:08:00.006+10:00

As mentioned in my post Living a Victorious Life, I'll be sharing some summary points from the book I'm currently reading, Twelve Secrets to Victorious Christian Living by Dr Alfred and Sandra Ee. This book has been instrumental in changing my thinking and pulling me out of a life of dispair. I hope that what I share with you from this book will bless you in many ways.

I've decided to post the summaries on a different site to give it a better flow and focus. Click here to view it.

On being married: For those you love the most

2010-09-22T21:57:00.005+10:00

It's so painful when you have to see your spouse go through difficult moments in life. You feel so helpless yet you're thankful that he's not alone. You try your best to encourage him but you can only pray that it helps. It's good to know there's someOne who is bigger and stronger than you who can lift up your husband. It's someOne you know you can depend on.

Sunday night dinners

2010-09-19T21:50:00.013+10:00

Sunday night dinners are always a treat! Ken and I normally cook up something a little fancier on a Sunday since there's more time for preparation. It's also always nice to give yourself a little treat at the end of the week and in preparation for a new week ahead.

I was craving something creamy tonight even though I don't normally like cream based meals. So I coaxed Ken into cooking his smashing beef stroganoff with fettuccine, a MasterChef inspired meal. He made it once before and I absolutely loved it and we figured we could do better this time.

I've been reading Ellie's blog, Almost Bourdain all day, and thought her corn and avocado salad would make a refreshing side dish to go along with the creamy stroganoff.

So off we went to the supermarket for our weekly grocery shopping.

After quite a bit of stirring, mixing and frying, dinner was served...

Corn and cherry tomato salad with shallots and lemon juice.
Inspired by Ellie's avocado and corn salad The avocado I bought wasn't ripe so I replaced it with cherry tomatoes. Very refreshing!

Beef stroganoff with swiss mushrooms and fettuccine
Inspired by Masterchef's beef stroganoff with parsley and black pepper fettuccine.

Ahh...satisfied :)

Living a victorious life

2010-09-19T15:34:00.004+10:00

As you can tell from my previous blog posts, I've been living as if I've been defeated. I've been trying to pick myself up but it's been tough. Once you're defeated in your mind, it slowly kills your soul.

This afternoon, I was going to do my usual after lunch. Watch re-runs of my favourite tv series, Gilmore Girls. But for some reason, I decided to read a book instead. I've been trying to finish an academic book by Sapir & Wilson on working with the learning disabled child but recently decided not to focus so much on it since it was written in 1978. It was a free book I picked up from a library. Now I know why it's free.

Anyway, as I glanced at the books sitting on my bookshelf, I noticed a number of easy-reading books my mum gave me when she visited me early this year. I call them easy reading because they're relatively thin books. These books don't look very attractive, plain covers, simple fonts. I picked one and glanced at the contents. Wow, good stuff! I thought I'd give it a go. I sat on my sofa set, pulled the rug over myself and read the front page,

"Twelve Secrets to Victorious Christian Living" by Dr Alfred and Sandra Ee

Chapter one, You are what you think you are
Chapter two, Renewing of the mind
Chapter three, As you speak so it shall be

After three chapters, I paused and thank God I picked up this book because it is exactly what I needed to hear! It really speaks life into you and there's just so much encouraging words in this book it makes you want to pick yourself up and face life all over again.

I'm going to be sharing summary points from this book over the next couple of days because it has benefitted me greatly and I'm sure it will benefit you too.

Stay tuned and have a lovely week ahead!

The bureaucracies of a university

2010-09-17T10:44:00.005+10:00

(warning: a rather sad ending)

I've been working in a university in Australia for exactly one and a half years. Within this time, I've changed positions 3 times. I didn't asked to change positions nor did I apply for a change of positions. I didn't really have a choice. I was asked to move.

Moving from position to position within such a short time has revealed to me the many bureaucracies in the university. There's a policy for every single thing and there's a complicated process somehow tied in between.

Depending on what you do, bureaucracies can work in your favour but sometimes it feels like a huge barrier to meeting your goal. It corners you so that you can only move one inch to the left and to the right. Often, it simply stops you where you are. No moving allowed!

I had to jump hurdles when I was in primary school. I feared it so much. We would line up and wait for our turn to jump past a few hurdles. I remember my heart beating so fast and every time it was my turn, I would just freeze and my PE teacher would laugh and scream at me at the same time because I was obviously holding up the line. I remember running, jumping as high as I could but when I looked back, I had knocked all the hurdles down. I didn't succeed and my feet hurt.

Bureaucracies make you feel like that. Every time you're faced with an issue, you have to jump past a policy...followed by another policy and in the end, you feel out of breath, your feet hurt and you feel like a failure. What's more difficult is that it's also a faceless management. Tough decisions are made but no one knows who makes them. Yet, everyone is told to conform.

Being a middle manager with such bureaucracies is not fun. There is absolutely no silver lining in it, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It's dark, lonely and tiring. You feel trapped because you have to do deal with two levels of management. An admin management and the academic management. I sit in between these two. Admin management hands down an order to be passed to academic management. Academic management doesn't want to conform but admin management puts its foot down so you become the sounding board for both dissatisfied parties. Not fun.

It's so sad to see this happen...and it's sad when you're stuck in it all. I thought working in a uni would give me the opportunity to interact with students and work with teachers who love knowledge and training others. Little did I know that this is just a tiny part of a university. Perhaps it's time to consider greener pastures...

Stepping Up

2010-09-11T08:54:00.003+10:00

I've just changed my blog title to 'Frameworks: Stepping Up". This is reflective of a number of things that's happened this year.

In my heart, I know that 2009-2011 will be a time of waiting for something big (see A dream to hold on to and Life is getting exciting )

Hence I named my blog, "Frameworks: Just Cruising". Little did I realise that waiting doesn't mean being passive. In fact, waiting is a time of preparation and this year, I've found myself having to step up very quickly in a number of positions.

I've had to step up to be a leader in kids church only after helping out for a couple of weeks. I co-lead with someone else which makes it easier but I never thought it would all happen so fast.

Just two weeks ago, I was offered to take my manager's position for 3 months. It's a tough role and took days to decide even though there would be a significant pay increase. I wasn't ready to step up. I was waiting, remember? I took it any way and it has been tough..it's one of those jobs where you sit in front of your computer and go, "What do I do first" because everything's equally important and there's lots to do. It also involves managing a team of two and you have to ensure that they have enough work to do as well.

I have also had to step up as a wife. To be like a flower which brings a beautiful fragrance into the home, into the relationship, into your husband's life. To create the space for him to flourish as head of the home and not to be the one with all the answers and decisions.

Everytime I've had to step up, I felt nervous. But, sometimes things may seem more difficult than what it really is. And until you dip your feet in the water, you'll realise that there's someone else in the pool with you. He's a big guy and he's definitely not going to let you drown :)

Hang tight, the waves are coming!

A dream to hold on to

2010-09-11T08:40:00.004+10:00

I love dreaming of the future. I love lying in bed thinking of what I could do, I could start, what difference I can make.

I have had many thoughts, many plans and many dreams of the future. But at this point, I have one dream, this is THE dream. This was something that I actually dreamt in the night a few months back. This is one of those dreams where you wake up and you remember exactly what happened and every detail in the dream. I even remember giving it a name.

I remember before this dream, I struggled for many years trying to decide which stream of Psychology I should pursue but after this dream, I feel at rest. Now to execute it.

The only thing about this dream is that it all took place in Malaysia! Uhm...definitely not sure how this it's all going to unfold since I'm obviously not living there right now but I believe that if God's in it, who can be against it.

It shall be called, Joy Learning House :)

Insomnia, fatigue

2010-09-05T18:20:00.004+10:00

I haven't slept for 3 days. I have had to deal with a difficult situation at work and it has been preoccupying my mind for 2 days. Last night, I got myself into more trouble about something else and was extremely upset about someone. Another night of sleep gone.

Tomorrow, I start in a managerial position leading a team of two who are much older than me. I am anxious about it but am more anxious about the workload that I will be facing. Thursday and Friday was just a glimpse of it which led to two nights of insomnia. I feel burnt out even before it begins.

The other issue, dealing with difficult behaviour amongst friends. Most friends are friends because you get along with them, you enjoy their company and they have nice personalities. Funny how sometimes you get peculiar ones who you don't get along with but somehow find their way into the group. This is frustrating because you can't exclude people from your group. It is a tough situation to be in, it's mentally exhausting and even physically because you have to restraint yourself from strangling the person.

Unfortunately, after 2 sleepless nights, last night I strangled this person. Not literally of course but a series of events happened and I suddenly found an invisible cord in my hand. I could feel the adrenaline in me pumping so fast and hard that I suddenly pounced on this person with the cord and killed the soul in this person. Not a good sight.

I hate apologising especially when it's not your freaking fault or at least when it's perceived that way. Fine, perhaps strangling is not the best way to do it. More blood, less blood? Perhaps a chat over a cup of tea, scones with the Mad Hatter sitting at the edge with his quirky antics to lighten up the mood while you butcher this person to pieces. Nevertheless, I am desperate for a night's sleep, it doesn't have to be good, just sleep is all I desire now that an apology is probably the price I have to pay for it. Dammit, it's a huge price to pay even when it shouldn't feel that way.

My birthday gift to my beloved mummy 1 September 2010

2010-08-31T22:11:00.000+10:00

I love custard tarts..mmMMMMmmm...yummy yummy yummy

2010-08-29T11:07:00.002+10:00

My first footy match tonight

2010-08-29T10:56:00.003+10:00

I'm going to my first footy match tonight. Got free tickets from World Vision..not sure how it's all related but who cares, it's free tickets, yay! Apparently it's not a very exciting game but I guess it'll be good to just have a feel of what it's like. Tonight at the MCG, Melbourne vs North Melbourne. Who shall I support?

A singing night

2010-08-29T10:50:00.005+10:00

Yayy, I won a Singstar competition last night. Went for a friend's birthday party and they organised a Singstar competition. There were 2 rounds and I made it to the finals. In the finals, my male competitor and I chose the song, All Out of Love by Air Supply and I got the highest score! Woohoo! Won myself a $30.00 Coles-Myer gift voucher. So fun :)

There was also an open mic at the party and Ken and I did a jazz piece, a medley of Smile and I Wish You Love. Was a little nervous at first and it was our first time presenting together as a couple. Ken played the keyboard very well and I guess I did alright with the singing although it could've been better. Nevertheless, it was all good fun. I'll probably do it again if there was another open mic event.

DUST

2010-08-22T15:31:00.004+10:00

There's something that really distracts me, whether it's at home or at work. Everytime I sit down to do something, I always get distracted by one thing...DUST! I really can't stand seeing dust on my computer screen, on my keyboard, on my desk..urgh, it just makes me so irritated and I have to get up, get a wet cloth and wipe the dust away.

It's inevitable that after I've wiped the surface clean, dust will return. So the next time I sit down at my desk to do something again, new dust would have settled and I would go all crazy again about it.

It's annoying that dust keeps coming back. What makes it worst is that my desk is black in colour and so are my laptop, monitor, speakers, modem and cordless phone which all sit on my desk at home. I also sit very near the windows which means sunlight comes through very easily. These factors (dark surface items and sunlight) makes the dust even more evident!! Sometimes I feel so annoyed, I feel like removing my spectacles/glasses so that I won't see them but if I did that, I wouldn't be able to read what's on my computer screen.

Now I'm trying to ignore it...simply ignore it, pretend it's not there and when night comes and the sun's gone, the dust will be gone too (actually it's still there but I just can't see it). I have to tell myself this otherwise I will never get anything done!

Perhaps it's time to get one of those microfibre dusters, hmm.....maybe that might work...

Predicting the Seasons

2010-08-18T08:47:00.002+10:00

About a week ago, I woke up one Saturday morning to the singing of birds; the sun was shinning through the blinds and my little toes didn't seem cold as they normally do in winter. I thought to myself perhaps Spring has arrived! After all, it is already August. As we drove down the street, a saw a row of Sakura or cherry blossoms starting to bloom. I heard that Cherry Blossoms only bloom at a certain time in a year and for a short period of time. This time I said to Ken, Spring is definitely here!

Two days later, it seemed as if spring had come and gone and winter decided to revisit us! Gray skies, rain, cold, chilly winds, freezing little toes.

I've noticed that we will never be able to predict exactly when a season will begin, what time, which day. We will also never be able to predict exactly when a season will end. Even the weather forecast tells us things like, winter has arrived early this year or summer is peaking much later than last year. It's interesting how seasons come and go at such varying times every year.

We go through lots of seasons in our lives and sometimes we can never predict how long they will last and when the next season is going to start. But I know someone who knows exactly when a season will start and end.

He is the creator of the universe...
He is the inventor of every miracle...
He is the master of our lives...
He is God.

Homelessness

2010-08-11T08:48:00.003+10:00

Today I saw a homeless man sitting outside a bakery in the city. He kept looking at the pastries on display through the glass window. He had in his hand a bottle of coke and an almost empty packet of Grain Waves. I wondered to myself why he had chosen to buy these things and not something else, perhaps some rolls, water, biscuits?

I approached the entrance of the bakery and walked around the homeless man. I really felt like buying him a sausage roll from the bakery but was overcome with fear. What if he doesn't want a sausage roll..what if he's crazy and starts shouting at me..what if he rejects my gift...

I walked away with my head hung low, guilty and confused.

I know we are to do good, to imitate Christ. But why are we trapped by FEAR. Why is its grip so tight around us.

Open Day

2010-08-09T17:48:00.002+10:00

Yesterday I helped out with RMIT's Open Day. It was definitely a tiring event, running up and down the stairs to get more print outs, bottles of water for staff, make phone calls to people on duty who had not turned up. There was lots of talking..talking to parents, talking to prospective students, giving directions to those who were lost. I was standing most of the time and by the end of the day, my legs were so tired, they felt like jelly. When I got home, lying down on the bed never felt so amazing. Ahh.....

I made a number of observations on Open Day...

(Disclaimar: These observations are based on what I experienced yesterday. They may not necessarily be an accurate reflection of parents and their kids)

1. Quite a number of parents who came with their kids seemed more interested in the program than their kids. They asked all the questions while their kids stood by their side looking around.

2. Those who came by themselves were the most interested ones. They asked all the right questions, they were curious and knew what they were looking for.

3. Those who came with friends came and left quickly. They knew what they wanted but because their friends were waiting there for them, they sort of asked a couple of questions and then hurried off.

4. Some people just weren't interested in the program. They were just curious to know why the ENTER/ATAR score was so high to get in. They were the nosy ones who were there to challenge you, mostly parents of kids who'd rather do something else, something easier to get in. It was as if they were upset that the ENTER was so high and because of that, their kid has to do something else.

Whatever category these guys were in, I commend them for taking the time to attend Open Day. It's definitely a great way to get a feel of the University and find out what they'll be doing there.