Sunday, 25 August 2013

Being around positive people

One of the things that motivational books often advise is to hang around positive people. People who inspire, motivate and challenge you, people who look forward to the future and people who appreciate and welcome you. I am so thankful that I have a number of positive people in my life. One of them is definitely my hubby, Ken. My really good friends are positive people as well. I guess that's why we are still friends! I suppose if we have a choice, we would choose to only have such people in our lives. 

However, in reality, we can't always choose to only hang around positive people. Sometimes, we are forced to be with those who are let's say...less inspiring. These could be family members, colleagues and individuals within certain social circles who just tend to stick around because no one has the guts to tell them to go away (!). Anyway, from my personal experience, these people are not just not really pleasant to be around but the worst part is, they drain you. Every time I come back from one of these encounters, I just need to lie down and recuperate from the negativity or defensiveness or whatever annoying behaviours they have. The first question that always pops in my mind is, why are they like that!? Why..why..why... I put on my psychologist hat and try to analyse the individual...Hm..maybe they had a poor attachment to their mother or father..perhaps they were hurt in the past. At the end of it all, it doesn't really help because even though this person may have a bad past, we don't deserve to be treated in such manner. Sigh... 

I remember listening to a sermon once and the pastor said that some people are like ice bergs. They have all this baggage underneath the surface that you can't see. All you see is the tip of it. So sometimes this person may explode over the slightest thing that seems to irritate them. I have had to deal with quite a few clients like that. The reason why I am saying this is because I never identified with this until I had a baby. I remembered the first time I brought him out to someone's house. It is so difficult to bring a newborn baby out. The preparation and timing is just intense and by the time you put the baby in the car, load everything and strap your seatbelt on, all you feel like doing is going back into the house and fall flat on your bed and faint from exhaustion. Anyway, we reached our destination and I put the baby down in his bassinet on the floor where I thought was safe. Then my mum went..why don't you put him here and my dad went do this do that. I was so stressed that even though my parents meant well, I just couldn't take it and just said, argh, just leave him there! 

I guess I don't have a real conclusion for this post but I will say two things;

Firstly, if you ever feel drained, exhausted after being around someone, try not to blame yourself. I guess they're a bit like an iceberg.

Secondly, since nobody likes being around negative people, try to be someone who will inspire, motivate and spur on others to be the best that they can be! If you are such a person, I would love to be friends with you :)) 


  1. Alamak...... you're looking for new friends. What bout me? TT_TT

    1. haha you are definitely one I'll be keeping:)

    2. Glad to know that =P....