Sunday, 21 June 2015

Working mummy heartache

While I was on maternity leave, my two friends who were in a similar situation as me decided to return to work part-time, 2 days a week to be exact. I returned to work 3 days for 6 months and then full-time since January this year. I really miss my little boy and every night when I put him to sleep, I just can't believe another day has gone by and I only spent so few hours with him. My heart is heaviest on a Sunday night because I thoroughly enjoyed spending two full days with him and now it's back to our routine of work and childcare. Yes despite those tantrums, my little boy is a charmer and a true entertainer singing his own renditions of ABC, five little ducks and 1 little 2... 

I caught up with my friend who is working two days while her daughter goes to childcare for those two days. I asked her what it was like and she said that even though she only works two days, she misses her daughter so much because she spends so much time with her that it's become her routine. She said it feels odd when she has to drop her daughter at childcare and come to work just for two days. Her answer really surprised me as I thought she would feel privileged to have the best of both worlds. 

I find myself in the dilemma of career vs mum. Having worked in the same position and in the same place for 6 years, I feel that it is the right time to advanced my career. Challenge myself. But I also hear myself telling me to go the other way and to take a step back, perhaps even drop a day. I would love to spend time moulding Isaac's character and development while he is still young and the window of opportunity is there. I find that I don't really have a friend who is in a similar position as I am in and find myself floating through this phase of life rather aimlessly. My mum was mostly a stay at home mum and when she did work it often fell in line with our schedules. Mum was always there during my growing up years and even though I don't remember many events, I remember some..just of us at home, nowhere far away or fancy. I remember once when I was in kinder, she got us to create our own menu and we wrote down all our favourite foods. I remember her cooking her simple but oh so yummy macaroni and Ikan bilis soup for lunch. I wish my Isaac could have memories like that too..just simple things we did everyday. I don't remember our Saturday nights but somehow it's the day to day memories that have stuck. 

Our last weekend here

We are finally moving to our new place. This means we just spent our last weekend at our current place. We are so thankful that the renovations have gone smoothly. My hubby has done an amazing job making a million decisions and always on call whenever our builder needed to speak to him. You wouldn't have imagine the type of things we had to make decisions on. There were times my husband would ask me for my opinion and I would go, I don't even know that term or what you are referring to. Do we even have that in the house?! Clearly I'm clueless when it comes to things like that and still am. 

Trying to get our things packed has been fun and annoying. It's quite nice when you discover things you never knew you had! And also nice to go through old things like my box of cards which I have collected over the years. Feel a bit nostalgic sometimes. But the annoying part is when you have boxed everything up, there's boxes at every corner and I have walked into the corners of some of these boxes a number of times now. Urgghhhh...! Also with some of our things I go, do I pack this now or one day before we move because I might need it? It's a very confusing time. 

I will definitely miss our house!! 

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Mother's Day

Today we celebrated Mother's Day. It must be so hard on dads because they have to plan everything and make sure the day is special! I remember even after my brother and I were all grown up and in University, my parents would remind us to wish mum or dad on Mother's Day or Father's Day or if it was someone's birthday. They didn't want the other person to be disappointed. They don't remind us anymore and I guess have realised that we are responsible enough to take the initiative.

Anyway, as for me, I make it easy on Ken. I tell him what gift to get me and what I would like for dinner. It's a win-win! He doesn't have to stress about it and I'm all happy chappy. I suppose until Isaac grows up and can make his own Mother's Day card and choose gifts, I shall take advantage of it and request for things I've been dying to buy! Having said that.....I earnestly look forward to the things Isaac brings home from childcare or the craft he makes at kids church. This year he brought home a card and some chocolates from childcare and he made a flower at kids sweet :) he couldn't quite say  'happy mother's day' yet but he says he loves me in so many other ways; his beautiful smile, his cheeky grins, his warm cuddles. I can't help but just gaze at my little boy and realise that today is special not because of me, but because of him. He motivates me to be a better person and to be an inspiration to him. 

To all the mums out there, here's wishing you a Happy Mother's Day! It is such an honour and privilege to be called mum. 

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Saturday, 11 April 2015

Korean drama - Fated to love you

Oh no...simply addicted to watching Fated to love you. Can't stop!!!